


The Lightning Strike: Book One: Water

by NathanAllenBaker



Series: Autistic Azula AU [1]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Aang is a Monk, Aged-Up Character(s), Autism, Autistic Azula, Azula (Avatar) Needs a Hug, Azula (Avatar) Redemption, But she's not perfect, F/F, F/M, Lesbian Azula (Avatar), Ozai (Avatar) Being a Terrible Parent, Ozai (Avatar) is an Asshole, Ursa (Avatar) is a Good Parent
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-24
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:55:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 19,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26093746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NathanAllenBaker/pseuds/NathanAllenBaker
Summary: Azula ran away after discovering Ozai didn't love her, living in an old Fire Navy ship. One day, she meets two strangers and her life changes.
Relationships: Aang & Azula (Avatar), Azula/Katara (Avatar)
Series: Autistic Azula AU [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1894552
Comments: 37
Kudos: 321





	1. Chapter One: The Boy in the Iceberg/The Avatar Returns

**Author's Note:**

> Couple of minor notes before we start:  
> \- The characters are 4 years older than they were in canon. Azula and Katara are 18, Aang is 16, Sokka is 20, etc.  
> \- Azula is explicitly autistic and has Alexithymia, meaning she has trouble identifying and describing her emotions and feelings.  
> -Aang is more well-adjusted, having been told he was the Avatar at 16. The Air Nomads were wiped out after he left to begin learning the other elements.  
> -Avatars in the Avatar state can channel their past selves, allowing those selves to interact with the world.

Azula sighed as she made her way back to the boat. She’d managed to scrounge up some fish today, but she’d have to ration what she had for the rest of the week to make it through. Opening the door to her makeshift home, she trudged inside. Hanging her meager haul in her improvised freezer, she pulled off her parka and hung it on a hook near the door. Sighing tiredly, she headed up the stairs to the boiler. 

Putting another block of whale oil in the boiler, she trundled over to her room and collapsed into her bed. _Just another day in the middle of fucking nowhere,_ she thought as she lay there. It had been nearly four years since she’d left her birthright as Fire Princess. She hated that she was hiding from her father, but until defeating the Fire Nation was a possibility, she didn’t have much of a choice. 

She was roused from her thoughts by the sound of footsteps clanging through the lower level of the ship. Getting up, she formed a jet of red flame from one fist and advanced slowly down the stairs. She’d learned that using her signature blue flames was dangerous on the ice, as it burned hot enough to melt from just the heat it radiated. Turning a corner into a part of the ship even though she'd abandoned, she saw a younger boy and a girl about her age. The girl looked like a member of the Water Tribe that lived nearby, while the boy wore a set of yellow robes with an orange poncho. But the most striking thing about him were the airbending master tattoos on his head and hands.

“We should really head back, Aang.” the girl said. This place is… ahh!” she yelped as Azula hurled a burst of flame past her head.

“GET OUT!” she shouted at the pair, forming a ball of fire in one hand. The boy opened his mouth to speak and Azula threw her fireball. Before it could reach her, a gust of wind knocked it off course, sending it sailing into the armory, where it hit a box of flares. Azula and the two kids both dove to the ground as the flares went off punching a hole through the ceiling of the armory. When the smoke cleared, Azula got up and lit a pair of jets from both hands.

“If I ever see you here again,” she said, her anger so strong she could barely see through the haze of red clouding her vision, “I will _kill_ you.” The airbender nodded and led the girl over to the new hole. Grabbing her, he shot up with a burst of wind. Azula went to the nearest porthole to make sure they left. _Stupid kids,_ she thought, _I hope no one in the Fire Navy saw that._ Satisfied she wouldn’t be bothered for the immediate future, she headed back to her bed to take a well deserved nap.

* * *

With the benefit of a short nap and a little time, Azula realized she might have been a little harsh to the pair. _I should go to the village and apologize,_ she thought, _maybe I could get a little rice to spice up my diet of fish and sea prunes._ Sighing, she went to grab her parka and get her boat.

An hour later, she could see the village in the distance. She guessed she was about fifteen minutes away. Arriving there, she stashed her boat in an ice floe aout of the way and headed toward the village on foot. As she approached, she saw an old Fire Navy ship loom out of the fog. Hiding behind an iceberg, she watched as her brother, of all people, exited the boat and soundly defeated the lone warrior of the village. Then the airbender arrived and exchanged himself for the villager’s safety.

Azula made her way over to the village, her hands held up to show she meant no harm. As she approached the village, she saw the girl from the ship and the warrior Zuko had beaten near a small canoe. Now that she wasn’t so angry, the girl was actually very pretty. _I bet she has no shortage of suitors,_ she thought. The warrior saw her and pulled out a club.

“Stay back, firebender!” he shouted. Azula took a deep breath. _I can do this, I can seem like a normal person long enough to apologize,_ she told herself.

“Hi.” she said, a little nervously. “I’m Azula. I just wanted to apologize for attacking you, miss.” She gestured to the girl, smiling shyly. The girl flushed, looking embarrassed. “And I apologize if anything I did led the Fire Nation here. I have no interest in them looking around here either.” The warrior raised an eyebrow.

“And why the hell should we trust you?” he asked. The girl elbowed him. “Sokka,” she said irritably, “Be nice.” She turned to Azula. “I apologize for my brother. I’m Katara. I’m really sorry for bothering you.” she gave Azula a nervous smile. Azula smiled back. 

“Water under the bridge. So what are the two of you doing with that boat? You aren’t going to catch up to a Fire Nation ship, even one that old, in a canoe.” she replied. Katara gave Sokka a smug look, then her eyes widened at something behind Azula. She turned and saw a massive sky bison with a patch of hair in the same shape as that airbender’s forehead tattoo.

“You just love taking me out of my comfort zone, don’t you?” Sokka said in a resigned tone.

* * *

Seated in the massive saddle, Azula lay back on one of the pillows as Sokka remained skeptical that the sky bison, apparently named Appa, could fly. 

“The Air Nomads probably trained them. There’s probably a command to get him to fly. Katara, do you remember that airbender saying anything to get him to fly?” she asked. Katara thought for a moment, then smiled.

“Appa, yip yip!” she said. After a moment, Appa rose into the air with a growl. Sokka leaned over to gaze in wonder at the water below.

“We’re flying, we’re really flying!” he said excitedly. Seeing Azula and Katara’s smug looks, he assumed an unimpressed expression. “So we’re flying. Big deal.” Azula chuckled and lay back against the pillow.

* * *

Approaching Zuko’s ship, Azula turned to Katara and Sokka. 

“I’d love to help you rescue the airbender, but it’s probably for the best that I not be seen. The Fire Nation is probably still after me.” she told them. Sokka gave her a suspicious look.

“Why would they still be after you?” he asked. Azula paled. She’d said too much.

“I’d rather not say, but it’s safe to assume I pissed off the Fire Lord personally.” she said, praying to Agni that they wouldn’t press her further. Katara and Sokka gave each other a long look, then Sokka shrugged his shoulders.

“Suit yourself.” he said. 

As they approached the ship, Azula ducked down and hid in Appa’s saddle. She suddenly peered over the edge as she saw something impossible. The airbender she’d seen was standing on top of a waterspout and pushing back her brother and several Fire Nation soldiers. As Appa landed, she ducked back down. She wasn’t sure if Zuko had learned of her disappearance in his exile, but best not to chance it. As evidenced by his continued pursuit of the Avatar, Zuko was not someone you wanted chasing you. 

As Katara and Sokka dispatched the remaining soldiers and retrieved the airbender, Azula snuck over towards the front of the saddle. Once she ascertained that everyone was aboard, she leaned close to the sky bison’s ear and said clearly, “Appa, yip yip!” The bison growled and took to the air. 

As they flew away, Azula heard her brother order the ships trebuchet readied. She turned and saw a flaming projectile hurtling toward them. Fear flooded her veins, rooting her in place. Suddenly, she saw the airbender leap in front of her and deflect the projectile into the ice shelf, burying the bow of Zuko’s ship in ice. Azula chuckled as the fear she thought she was feeling drained away. The airbender turned to her.

“Hi, I’m Aang. Who are you?” he asked. Azula hesitated. His tone seemed sincere, but this was the Avatar. Surely he would know a member of the family that caused so much trouble for his past incarnation by sight, wouldn’t he?

“I’m Azula.” she said simply. Aang nodded. “Nice to meet you, Azula. Do you want us to take you back to your ship? You did seem like you wanted to just be left alone.” Azula considered it. Sure, if she went back, she could live out her life in peace, until the Avatar defeated Ozai and she could return to her home. But looking at Katara, who gave her a shy smile, she realized that wasn’t an option. _I have to atone for my father’s sins,_ she thought. 

“We could stop by there. I have a decent store of supplies we could use while traveling to the North Pole. A lot more than these two have.” she said, gesturing to Sokka and Katara. “I’m also guessing you could use a firebending teacher. Before I came here, I was something of a firebending prodigy.” she told Aang. The airbender smiled.

“Sound great!” he said. “Let’s go!” He headed to the front of the saddle and took Appa’s reins to direct the sky bison back to Azula’s makeshift home.

* * *

Arriving back at her home for the past three years, Azula grabbed her rusack and headed for her room as Katara and Sokka worked together to pack up the fish, whale oil and other supplies to load onto Appa.

Standing in her bedroom, Azula wondered what she should take. In all likelihood, she was never going to see this place again. She took her mother’s journals and her meager collection of firebending scrolls, as she couldn’t bear to part with the former and would need the latter if she was going to teach Aang. She grabbed her make-up kit, which she hadn’t touched since she’d arrived at the South Pole three years ago. It would help her keep a low profile, as she could use it to disguise herself. After a few minutes of deliberation, she went over her closet and rooted around until she found it. A hair-piece traditionally worn by a Fire Princess. It might give her away, but if she was going to confront her father, she owed it to herself, and her mother to take it with her.

Exiting the dead shell of the old Fire Navy ship, Azula saw Katara handing Sokka a wrapped chunk of whale blubber. Katara noticed Azula looking at her and smiled warmly at her and gave her a wave. At that moment, Azula felt something strange toward the waterbender. It wasn’t jealousy or envy, but for the life of her, Azula wasn’t sure what it was.


	2. The Southern Air Temple

Azula was nervous. Scratch that, Azula was terrified. They were going to visit the Air Temple and Aang was excited.  _ Until he sees what my family did to his people,  _ she thought glumly. Katara had been talking to him, trying to soften the inevitable blow. But still, they were headed to the site of what she had used to think was her family’s greatest triumph, but was now her greatest shame.

* * *

As they approached the temple, Aang continued to insist that the airbenders were still alive. Azula lay back against a pillow and stewed in her guilt.  _ If… when he finds out who I am, when they all do, none of them are going to want anything to do with me,  _ she thought to herself. When they landed, Aang rushed around, pointing out all the features of the temple. Hanging back, Azula heard Sokka wonder if there was any food here. While they had plenty of food, you could only do so much with fish before it got boring, Azula mused. Aang stopped at an outcropping and sighed.

“What’s wrong?” Katara asked.

“This place used to be full of monks and lemurs and bison. Now there’s just a bunch of weeds.” he said glumly. Azula frowned. Inside, she felt like her body was being burned, but she wasn’t sure why. She guessed she was ashamed, but she couldn’t be sure. It hadn’t felt good in the abstract, but it being so visceral… how could anyone live with this? Luckily, Aang was quickly distracted by teaching Sokka some sport he played as a child.

Azula decided to follow Katara around. It was actually quite pleasant, being around the other girl. Katara was very nice and seemed interested in talking to Azula. As they walked around the temple, Azula felt miserable. Katara, Aang and even Sokka were so nice, but she knew that once they knew who she was, they’d turn on her in an instant. She was shaken from her thoughts by her foot colliding with something hard. Katara bent the snow away to reveal a Fire Nation soldiers helmet, worn and damaged by age. Azula scrambled back, an ice-cold feeling running through her veins. Katara turned to look at her, a worried expression on her face.

“Are you alright, Azula?” she asked, her voice sounding muted and distorted to Azula. The icy sensation pulsing through her veins intensified.

“I can’t do this.” she muttered, running away from Katara and heading deeper into the temple.

* * *

Later, huddled in one of the bedrooms of the temple, Azula heard a knock at the door. A moment later, Aang stepped in.

“Katara got worried when you ran off.” he said simply. She scrutinized him for any trace of judgement, but couldn’t find any. Aang took a seat in front of her, crossing his legs. “Do you want to talk about what’s bothering you?” he asked. Azula sighed. She might as well get this over with.

“I’m the Fire Lord’s daughter.” she blurted out. Aang tilted his head and gave her a confused look.

“What’s so bad about that?” he asked. Azula felt a pounding in her temples.

“How do you not know what happened? My great-grandfather slaughtered your entire people!” she shouted. “My family destroyed your culture, specifically so they could kill you! I read the report of the attack on this temple. They murdered everyone.” she told him. Aang frowned.

“I figured.” he said sadly, “I’d hoped that it wasn’t true, but inside, I kind of always knew.” Azula gaped at him. How was he taking this so well?

“WHY DON’T YOU HATE ME?” she screamed at him. Aang smiled. “My family’s legacy is murder and genocide, and you, of all people, should hate me the most, but you don’t. Why?” she asked, tears in her eyes. Aang stood and walked over, putting a hand on her shoulder.

“Because you’re a good person, Azula. Why do you think you feel so bad? You obviously left the Fire Nation because you realized what they were doing was wrong.” he told her.

“But I didn’t try to stop them. I hid, like a coward.” she said.

“You aren’t a coward. You’re a kid, who shouldn’t place the burden of fixing a hundred years of oppression on her shoulders alone. You also clearly have some stuff you need to work through.” Aang replied with a small smile.

“Like what?” she asked skeptically.

“Like all that guilt you’re carrying.” he replied. Suddenly, his tattoos and eyes began to glow with a pale blue light. A gust of wind burst through the room stirring up dust and forcing Azula to shield her eyes. When the dust cleared, Aang had disappeared, and someone else had taken his place. 

It was an older woman, clearly from the Earth Kingdom. She wore a set of plain grey and green robes and had her graying hair done up in a tight bun, with two chopsticks holding it in place. She was stout, but it seemed more solid and strong than any indication of laziness. Her weathered face was curved in a kind smile, and her eyes glowed the same color as Aang’s had a moment before.

_ “Hello dear.”  _ she said, her voice hoarse with age,  _ “I’m Avatar Mari. I think we should have a talk.” _

“What have you done with Aang?” Azula asked, forming a fire knife in each hand. Mari smiled.

_ “Aang is fine. He’s in the Avatar state. The stress of finding out his people were slaughtered caused him to activate it. He actually was fighting it, just so he could comfort you.”  _ she explained,  _ “But once he activated it, I offered to finish up, and so he’s channeling my spirit. He’ll be fine, so you don’t need to worry about him.”  _ Azula relaxed a little at that.

_ “Now, I hear you’re dealing with a great deal of guilt. Let’s sit down. My knees aren’t what they used to be.”  _ Mari said, sitting cross-legged on the bedroom floor.

“You’re a spirit possessing a sixteen year-old’s body.” Azula pointed out. Mari chuckled.

_ “Yet my knees still ache. Funny how that works.”  _ she replied. Azula nodded and took a seat.

_ “Now, about your guilt. What is it that you feel so guilty about?”  _ Mari asked.

“My family has oppressed others for over a hundred years, and for most of my life, I was a willing part of that.” Azula said. Mari nodded.

_ “That’s a reason to feel guilty, although as a thirteen year-old, I wouldn’t expect you to know better. But that’s not what really burdens you. What else?” _ she asked.

“I was just awful to my brother. I laughed when he was burned.” Azula admitted. Mari smiled.

_ “That’s more like it. But again, thirteen years old. You’re allowed to be a little obnoxious and awful to your siblings. Spirits know I was to mine. But you’re still holding back. What is your biggest regret?”  _ Mari asked, a hint of steel in her voice. Azula felt her eyes water and her cheeks burn. Why was her body doing this to her? She sobbed as she braced herself to lay bare her deepest secret.

“I PUSHED AWAY MY MOTHER!” she said, her breath coming in heaving sobs, “I WAS A MONSTER! I WAS CRUEL AND CALLOUS AND HATED HER! AND THEN SHE LEFT! I MADE HER LEAVE!” Mari’s expression softened as she stood and walked over, enveloping Azula in a firm hug.

_ “Oh, child.”  _ she said, her tone sad,  _ “The world has not been kind to you, has it?”  _ Azula nodded mutely.  _ “I may not know much of this time, but I will say that I very much doubt that your mother left because of you. It takes a lot more than petty cruelty to destroy a mother’s love for her child.” _

“You really think so?” Azula asked, sniffling. Mari nodded.

_ “I know so. My eldest daughter hated me because it felt to her I was always the Avatar and never her mother. She was cruel and hateful to me throughout her life. But when she was taken prisoner by the Fire Nation, I went to the Fire Lord himself and demanded her release. When he refused, I challenged him to an Agni Kai.”  _ she told Azula.

“Did you win?” she asked the older woman.

_ “Of course I did, I’m the Avatar. The point is, I’m certain your mother was hurt by how you treated her. But I assure you, it never stopped her from loving you, and it most definitely wasn’t why she left.” _

“What if you’re wrong?”

_ “Then your mother wasn’t someone who deserves your guilt. But trust me, as a mother and the Avatar, I know what I’m talking about.”  _ Mari let go of Azula and made a few gestures with one hand. The tears running down Azula’s cheeks floated into the air and disappeared. She felt a warm wind caress her cheeks at the same time as the air around her eyes suddenly felt cool.

_ “That should make it look less like you’ve been crying. I figured you might want to look composed when you see your new friends.”  _ Mari said. Azula nodded.  _ “Well then, this is where I leave you.”  _ Mari bowed and a whirlwind of dust swirled around her. When it cleared, Aang stood there, rubbing his eyes. He saw Azula and smiled.

“Did she help?” he asked quietly. Azula nodded. He smiled a little wider.

“I’m glad I could help. Now, why don’t we check around the temple and see if there are any airbenders or Fire Nation soldiers who need burials. I don’t know how to hold a Fire Nation funeral.” he said. Azula nodded. 

They worked through the evening, finding Aang’s mentor, Gyatso in a special chamber. When Aang saw him, he grabbed Azula’s hand and squeezed hard. Azula felt a strange, aching sensation in her chest at this, but wasn’t sure what it was.

“I think he would have liked you.” he whispered, after a moment.

“Really?” Azula asked.

“Really.” Aang replied. Azula moved to gather the bones of the soldiers, while Aang moved Gyatso. After a moment, he remarked, “And I see you looking at Katara when you think no one’s looking. It’s actually kinda cute.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Avatar.” Azula replied smoothly. Were airbenders always this fucking nosy?

“Don’t worry, my lips are sealed.” he said impishly. Azula made a rude hand gesture at him.

* * *

Aang and Azula returned to where Sokka and Katara had made camp. Aang paused and put a hand on Azula’s shoulder to stop her. 

“I’ll be right beside you the whole time.” he said, “You’ve got this.” As they approached the campfire, Katara saw them. She gave Azula a worried smile.

“Aang, Azula, what happened? You guys were gone a long time.” she asked. Azula took a deep breath.

“I’m not who you think I am.” she said. Sokka tilted his head in confusion.

“Before I lived in that ship, I was Princess Azula of the Fire Nation.” Azula admitted. Sokka’s jaw dropped and Katara gave a small gasp. Azula felt like her heart had just dropped into her stomach. After a long pause, Katara got up and rushed over, wrapping Azula in a big hug. Azula was suddenly very aware of the fact that Katara’s body was pressed against her. Her chest suddenly felt warm. Azula pulled away and, seeing Katara’s concerned expression, offered a shaky smile.

“I’m okay.” she reassured the waterbender. Katara nodded, her expression still slightly worried. Sokka came over and put a hand on her shoulder.

“I can see how hard that was for you.” he said, then patted her shoulder before heading back to the campfire. Aang patted Azula on the shoulder.

“That went about as well as I thought it would.” he remarked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Avatar Mari is an Earth Kingdom Avatar from around 1300 years before the series start. She’s intended to serve as a sort of therapist to Azula, mainly because, after reading the Kyoshi novels, I determined that Kyoshi would make a terrible therapist. Some facts about her:  
> She discovered she was the Avatar on her own, and when the sages came to tell her, she was already packed and ready to leave to learn the other elements.  
> She developed a unique ability called “air-speaking” that allowed her to hear and see snippets of the past by “listening” to the memories in the air.   
> She was known for ending conflicts without striking a single blow, preferring diplomacy to force.  
> She was also known for making her enemies cry.  
> She is the only known person in the history of the Fire Nation who won an Agni Kai by burning a smiley face on her opponent’s chest.  
> Her familiar was a honey badger-dog (Think golden doodle mixed with a honey badger) named Iogee.  
> Her tangle with Father Glowworm ended with her setting him on fire.  
> She was a modestly successful Avatar, not having any large crisises to deal with, but being generally fair to all nations and spirits.  
> She had two daughters, one of whom married into the Beifong family. Due to the amount of time between then and now, Toph is, at best, distantly related to her.  
> I mentally had her being voiced by the late Carrie Fisher.


	3. The Warriors of Kyoshi

Azula was having a good day. Sokka had finally started to warm up to her, after being somewhat chilly toward her after her confession. They had also picked up a flying lemur, who Aang had named Momo. However, she was currently suffering through a disagreement about their destination.

“You have no idea where you’re going, do you?” Sokka asked Aang. He was looking at the map, tracing their previous destinations. Katara was busy mending a pair of pants, which had allowed her to stay out of the argument. Azula had never regretted not paying attention to her embroidery lessons more than at this moment.

“Well…” Aang said happily, “I know it’s over water.” Sokka looked over Appa to stare at the vast sea they were currently flying over. “I guess we’re getting close, then.” he said sarcastically. Azula chuckled at that. In the meantime, Aang tried to impress Katara with an airbending trick he’d developed with a pair of marbles, but Katara wasn’t paying attention, being busy with her sewing. As he pouted, Sokka sighed.

“Stop bugging her, airhead. Katara always gets really focused when she sews. A lot of girls do, actually.” he said. “It’s just one of those things. Guys get really focused when they fish, girls get really focused when they sew.” Katara looked up and scowled at him.

“All done with your pants,” she said angrily, holding them up to show the rip was only halfway fixed. She tossed them at him, the pants landing on his head, reopening the rip.

“I was joking!” Sokka insisted as Azula snickered. “Katara, I can’t wear these!” he said, putting his arm through the rip.

“Relax, Sokka.” Aang interjected cheerfully, “Where we’re going, you won’t need any pants.” Azula chuckled and asked, “Will I need pants?” looking over at Katara to see her reaction. Aang chuckled and Katara blushed.

Landing on the beach of a mountainous, crescent-shaped island, Azula leapt off Appa onto the sand, stretching her legs and back. 

“We just made a pit stop yesterday,” Sokka complained, “Shouldn’t we get a little more flying done before we camp out?” he asked. Katara nodded.

“He’s right,” she said, “At this rate, we won’t get to the North Pole until spring.” Aang smiled innocently. “But Appa’s tired, aren’t you boy?”

Appa grunted unconvincingly. Aang elbowed him lightly. “I said,  _ aren’t you, boy? _ ” he repeated. Appa grunted more convincingly and yawned a little too. Azula looked over at Katara and Sokka and shrugged her shoulders to say that was good enough for her.

“Yeah, that was real convincing,” Sokka remarked dryly, “Still it’s hard to argue with a ten-ton magical monster.” Aang then rushed toward the bay, shouting, “Look!” A massive white fish surfaced, which Azula identified as an elephant koi. Katara and Sokka looked impressed by the massive fish.

“That’s why we’re here,” Aang explained, pulling down his pants and taking off his shirt and poncho, “Elephant koi! And I’m going to ride it. Katara, you’ve got to watch me.” he said before diving into the water, then leaping out a moment later, shouting, “Cold!” Sokka twirled a finger around his temple as Aang swam into the bay, diving down and then surfacing a moment later on the back of an elephant koi. Katara smiled and whooped as he sped by, and Azula smiled along with her. She envied his sense of wonder. All her childhood had left her with was a lingering cynicism. She watched as Aang rode the elephant koi across the bay, two others surfacing and diving behind him on both sides. Aang’s elephant koi then jumped and dove down into the water, taking Aang along with.

“He looks pretty good out there.” Katara told Sokka, a hint of smugness in her voice. “Are you kidding?” Sokka retorted, “The fish is doing all the work.” Katara looked like she was about to argue, but then focused on something behind Sokka. “No, Appa! Don’t eat that!” she said, rushing over to shoo the sky bison away from whatever he was trying to eat. Azula saw Aang frown before she noticed a dark shape in the water behind the elephant koi.

“There’s something in the water!” Sokka shouted as an elephant koi surfaced before being dragged below the surface. “What’s wrong?” Katara asked, returning from where Appa was. “Aang’s in trouble.” Sokka answered. “We don’t know that just yet.” Azula pointed out as Aang was knocked from the koi into the water. “Okay, now he’s in trouble.” she admitted as a huge dark fin jutted out of the water behind him. Aang turned and, seeing the massive fin, screamed and raced across the water’s surface, followed by the owner of the fin. He made it to the beach, barreling into Sokka as whatever the fin belonged to lost interest. Aang and Sokka crashed into a tree, leaving Sokka dazed as Aang put his clothes back on. Katara rushed over, Azula trailing behind.

“What was that thing?” she asked. “I don’t know.” Aang replied. “Well, let’s not stick around to find out,” Sokka suggested, “Time to hit the road.” Before they could find Appa, a group of warriors in green kimonos and headdresses dropped down from the trees, surrounding them. One grabbed Sokka, while another pulled the hood of Katara’s parka over her. Before Azula could even do anything, she found her hands forced behind her back. A blindfold was placed over her eyes and she felt her arms being bound before being tossed to the ground.

“You know, in most places, it’s considered polite to buy someone dinner before doing this sort of thing!” she remarked, drawing a laugh from one of their captors.

* * *

Once the blindfold was removed, Azula tried to get a read on her surroundings. She was tied to a large wooden pillar with the others in a clearing in a mid-sized village. Momo was trapped in a bag and lay on the ground in front of them. An old man stood next to one of the kimono-clad warriors who had captured them.

“You four have some explaining to do.” the old man said. “And if you don’t answer all our questions,” the warrior added, “We’re throwing you back in the water with the Unagi.”

“Bold words from someone who fights in a bathrobe.” Azula quipped, earning her a scowl from the face-painted warrior. “Who are you?” Sokka asked, “Where are the men who ambushed us?” If Azula had been physically able, she would have smacked her forehead in frustration.

“There were no men,” the warrior, who Azula now realized was definitely female, answered, joined by several of her compatriots, also female. “Now tell us, who are you and what are you doing here?” she asked firmly.

“Wait a second. There’s no way a bunch of girls took us down. Girls are good, but not that good.” Azula sighed as the leader grabbed Sokka by the collar. “A bunch of girls, huh?” she asked angrily, “The Unagi’s going to eat well tonight.”

“I’d like to stress that I’m not affiliated with him, mainly in the interest of not getting eaten.” Azula declared, drawing a reproachful look from Katara. “Don’t hurt him!” she told the warrior, “He didn’t mean it!” Azula rolled her eyes. Of course Sokka had meant what he’d said. “My brother’s just an idiot sometimes.” she continued. Azula had to admit that one was true.

“It’s my fault,” Aang interjected sadly, drawing a look from the old man, “I’m sorry we came here. I wanted to ride the elephant koi.” The old man glared at them. “How do we know you’re not,” he pointed at them, “Fire Nation spies? Kyoshi stayed out of the war so far, and we intend to keep it that way.” Before Azula could point out that, out of all of them, she was the only one who looked like she was from the Fire Nation, Aang interjected.

“This island is named for Kyoshi?” he asked, “I know Kyoshi.” he said confidently. “Ha!” the old man said dismissively, “How could you possibly know her? Avatar Kyoshi was born here four hundred years ago.” He gestured to an old statue of a seven foot-tall woman dressed like the warriors who had abducted them. “She’s been dead for centuries.” he added as the lead warrior gave them a smug look. Aang smiled.

“I know her because I’m the Avatar.” he said.  _ Way to keep a low profile, Aang,  _ Azula thought. “That’s impossible!” the lead warrior said, shaking her fist angrily, “The last Avatar was an airbender who disappeared a hundred years ago!” 

“That’s me.” Aang confirmed. The old man seemed unconvinced. “Throw the imposter to the Unagi!” he said, as the warriors pulled out fans and advanced toward the group. Azula looked at Aang and gestured with her head to indicate he should airbend. Aang nodded, and in a burst of air, shot up, breaking his bonds and floating gently to the ground.

The assembled people gasped, the warriors taking a step back. “It’s true,” the old man said, surprised, “You are the Avatar!” Aang smiled. “Now,” he said, “Watch this!” he pulled out a pair of marbles and began performing the trick he’d been trying to show Katara earlier. After a moment, the crowd erupted into cheers. One of the warriors untied Azula, Sokka and Katara as the crowd continued cheering.

* * *

The leader of the warriors, as it turned out, was named Suki, and was actually rather nice. She also enjoyed teasing Sokka. She reminded Azula of Ty Lee, elegant and graceful. The villagers were treating Aang like a celebrity, and he was lightly basking in it. He’d opened up the scrumptious feast to the entire village, and was always willing to take the children riding on Appa, while also awkwardly turning down the amorous advances of some of the older villagers. Katara had become rather annoyed at that part, namely after a young woman had said that Aang “could do better than her”. Aang had politely declined after the young woman had been fished out of the pond she’d been pulled into by tendrils of water.

Azula was sitting in the bedroom of the cabin they’d been offered. Aang had been fine with their current sleeping arrangements, but had been talked into accepting by the rest of them. As she meditated, she was shaken from her thoughts by a knock against the doorframe.

“Hey,” Suki said softly, leaning against the doorway in her uniform, but without her make-up. “Want to go for a walk? It seems like something’s bothering you.” Something had been bothering her. Ever since Aang had mentioned that the way Azula had been looking at Katara was cute, the waterbender had started occupying her thoughts more. She’d started appearing in Azula’s dreams, which the firebender couldn’t recall the contents of, but always left her sweaty and confused. Azula nodded.

“Sure.” she said, getting up. Suki led her on a meandering path through the village before heading into the forest. They reached a clearing, which had a small koi pond in front of a stone statue of an armored woman with a topknot. Azula noticed the armor looked to be from the Fire Nation, if a few centuries out of date. “What is this place?” she asked Suki, confused.

“This is the grave of Rangi, a lover of Avatar Kyoshi. I thought you might appreciate it, and it’s a nice place you can meditate in, without being bothered by people.” Suki replied. Azula sat down shakily. “Avatar Kyoshi was in love with a woman?” she asked. 

“Yeah. The both of them were pretty private about it, namely due to some things that happened when Kyoshi started out as the Avatar, but they were together for nearly eighty years. She’s the only lover of Kyoshi’s who’s buried here, which says something about how much she loved her.” Suki said, sitting down beside Azula, “I’m guessing you might have some feelings toward that waterbender with the cute brother?” she asked gently. Azula nodded mutely, a few tears falling to the ground.

“What’s wrong? I know those relationships were briefly outlawed a century ago, but wasn’t that reversed by Azulon?” Suki asked. Azula nodded, her eyes clenched shut in an attempt to stop the tears.

“It’s different for nobles. You have a responsibility to carry on the family name. Being… like that isn’t as tolerated as it would be by regular citizens. As the Fire Lord’s daughter…” she trailed off.

“You definitely would have to take a husband.” Suki guessed. Azula nodded. “It was the part of being the Fire Lord I dreaded, the part that made me want to run away sometimes. But I wanted my father to be proud, so I took my feelings and hid them away.” she admitted, “But now that I’m free to live my own life, I don’t know how to deal with them.” Suki nodded.

“Personally, my preferences don’t go that way, but here’s my advice. Be open to finding love, whatever form that might take. Just be willing to follow that feeling of love, and you can take the rest as it comes.” she said. Azula frowned.

“I know I’m…” she paused, searching for the right words, “Not good with people.” Suki raised an eyebrow. “Really? You seem like you do just fine to me.” she said.

“That’s from years of practice, and, even then, it’s exhausting to do all day. That time I spent alone at the pole was one of the happiest times of my life. It’s just… people confuse me. The way they talk and how they move when they do and how they interact with each other, it’s baffling. I sometimes feel like everyone else is speaking some language that I don’t understand.” Azula admitted, feeling her eyes well up with tears. “What if I’m not able to feel love? What if I’m just some creature wearing a human skin?” she asked, tears running down her cheeks. Suki smiled and put a hand on Azula’s shoulder, drawing her into a firm hug.

“You aren’t a monster, Azula. You’re just a girl who’s clearly been through a lot. I’m sure you’ll be able to find someone you love.” she reassured the firebender. Azula smiled tearfully.

“Thanks.” she said. “You know, I’ve felt this way for so long, but you’re the first person I’ve actually told how I felt. It feels good to share that.” Suki nodded. “I’m honored to be the first.” she said, standing up. “I have a training session soon, if you wanted to sit in.” she told Azula as she headed back toward the village. “I just might,” Azula said, smiling slightly.

* * *

Walking back from Rangi’s grave a few hours later, Azula had a spring in her step. After considering what Suki had said, she’d decided the warrior was right, she should be open to love. She was way off-base about Katara, though. Suddenly, she saw a plume of smoke erupt from the village. She rushed down the path to the dojo where the Kyoshi Warriors trained. Throwing open the door, she rushed in, seeing Suki and Sokka talking to the elder, both clad in the Kyoshi Warriors uniform.

“Fire Nation’s here.” she said, a little breathless.

“We heard.” Suki replied.

“Can I borrow one of your uniforms and make-up?” Azula asked, “My brother can’t know I’m here.” Suki nodded, handing Azula a make-up case as she headed over to a closet and rooted around in it, occasionally glancing back at Azula. Azula quickly put the make-up, forgoing the details to focus on the white face-paint and black eyebrows. They were the most distinctive parts, and, with any luck, that’s all anyone would see. Suki returned with a uniform in Azula’s size and a pair of fans.

“What are you going to do?” she asked. Azula smiled smugly.

“Nothing much. Just invent a new firebending style on the fly, knowing if I slip up once, I could bring the entire Fire Nation down on myself and the Avatar,” she remarked, seeing Suki and Sokka’s eyes widen, “Shouldn’t be too hard.” she added, heading for the door.

* * *

Reaching the main square of the village, where she’d previously been tied to the pillar with the Kyoshi statue. Her brother was mounted on a war rhino, his face set in his trademark scowl she’d come to associate with him over the years. 

“Come out, Avatar!” he shouted, “You can’t hide from me forever!” Azula stepped forward, stomping loudly to get Zuko’s attention. Her brother turned and glared at her.

“You’re not the Avatar.” he growled. Azula smiled wolfishly.

“No, but I’m still enough to beat you.” she said. Zuko leapt from his mount, swinging his foot in a downward kick with flames trailing from the boot. Azula spun to one side, dodging it as Zuko landed and sent another flaming kick her way. She thrust out her fans, sweeping the fire aside and letting it disipate. Zuko began launching bursts of fire at her, which Azula caught with her fans and batted aside. Zuko roared and shot a plume of flame at her, which Azula caught with one foot, pulling it to the ground and extinguishing it. To the naked eye, however, it looked like she’d simply stamped it out. She smiled, as it had also closed the distance between her and Zuko. She folded the fan in her right hand, smacking Zuko on the left side of his head. Zuko winced and Azula followed it up with a sweep of the fan in her left hand across his breastplate as she knocked him back with a knee to the stomach. She then somersaulted back to kick him with both feet in the chest, knocking him to the ground. Before he could get up, Azula had a fan to his throat.

“Leave. The only Avatar here is Kyoshi.” she said firmly. Zuko growled, but, after a moment, nodded. Azula removed the fan as he got to his feet, returning to his boat followed by his war riders. As the ship sailed away, Aang and Katara hurried over.

“What happened?” Katara asked. Azula smiled.

“I had a reunion with my brother. Nothing big.” she said. Suki chuckled.

“She means she kicked his ass.” she said, as Azula smiled bashfully. Katara gave Azula an impressed look, which made Azula feel a warm sensation in her chest.

* * *

The next day, as Katara and Sokka were loading up supplies, Azula was sitting by Rangi’s grave, meditating. She heard aproaching footsteps and turned to see Suki approaching, a lacquered wooden box under one arm.

“Hey,” Azula greeted her, “What’s in the box?” Suki smiled.

“A parting gift.” she replied, setting it down and opening it. She pulled out a pair of fans like all the other warriors used and handed them to Azula.

“These fans belonged to Kyoshi herself. I talked with Aang and… we thought you should have them.” she explained. Azula felt a nervousness wash over her.

“Are you sure?” she asked. Suki nodded. “Aang thought they might help you somehow.” she said. Azula nodded. She was pretty sure it wasn’t Aang who had thought that, but she understood what he’d meant.

“Thank you, Suki. I’ll make sure to take good care of these.” she said, tucking them under her belt. Suki grinned as they headed back to the village, where Appa was loaded and ready to go. As they got on, Azula put a hand on Aang’s shoulder. “Thanks.” she said simply. Aang nodded. “I’m glad this place was helpful for you.” he said as they climbed into the saddle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, if Suki seems unfazed, it’s because she’s done this many times previously. One of her unofficial duties is shepherding other Kyoshi Warriors through their gay awakenings. Also, I noticed in the Kyoshi novel how much Rangi’s mother-henning and her personality reminded me of Katara. I wonder if Kyoshi, after seeing Katara, got worried that Rangi cheated on her with a waterbender.
> 
> Also, I decided that Sozin’s banning same-sex couples only lasted until his death, mainly because the Fire Nation previously had a record of tolerance, thus making queer-friendliness a socially conservative position. Which meant that since the homophobia came out of nowhere, it was likely unpopular. So the socially conservative position triumphed after Sozin’s death, which in this case, is a good thing. Plus, I thought Sozin being a homophobe was kinda random, especially given the homoerotic undertones of his relationship with Roku.


	4. The King of Omashu

Azula was humming happily as she walked along with Aang, Sokka and Katara. Aang had suggested they go see if one of Aang’s old friends was still around. As they crested the hill, Azula saw the city. It had a pyramid shape, taking advantge of its being built into a mountain. 

“The Earth Kingdom of Omashu!” Aang announced cheerfully, “I used to always come here to visit my friend Bumi!” Katara and Sokka looked dumbfounded by the scale of the city.

“Wow,” Katara said, impressed, “We don’t have buildings like that in the South Pole.” Sokka’s jaw had dropped.

“They have buildings here that don’t melt!” he said, looking overwhelmed. Azula chuckled. She sometimes forgot that Sokka and Katara hadn’t seen as much of the world as she had. Aang leapt off the cliff and floated down with his airbending, sliding down the hill.

“Wait, Aang!” Katara shouted. Aang paused, looking back at them. “It could be dangerous if people find out you’re the Avatar!” Azula nodded. “And we don’t want a repeat of what happened at Kyoshi Island.” she remarked. Katara nodded, gesturing to Azula as if she was proving Katara’s point. Sokka nodded.

“You need a disguise.” he said, semi-seriously. Aang frowned. “What am I supposed to do,” he asked sarcastically, “Grow a mustache?” Azula smiled. “That’s actually not a bad idea…” she mused

* * *

Azula had managed to weave a false mustache and a tall wig from some of Appa’s hair. Aang put it on and scratched at his head. “Ugh. This is so itchy,” he complained, turning to Appa, “How do you live in this?” he asked. Appa snorted. Azula sighed.

“You just have to wear this until we get inside. Suck it up.” she told him. 

As they approached the gates, Azula noticed Katara sidle up beside her. Reaching the gate, a pair of guards approached.

“State your business.” one said firmly. Aang walked forward and said, in his best old man impersonation, “My business is my business, young man! And none of yours!” he continued, “I’ve got half a mind to bend you over my knee and paddle your backside!” Azula looked over and saw Katara and Sokka staring at Aang in disbelief. Azula smirked. The guard looked shocked for a moment before recovering.

“Settle down, old-timer,” he said in a calmer tone, “Just tell me who you are.” Aang frowned.

“The name’s Bonzu Pippinpaddleopsicopolis, the Third,” he said, gesturing to Katara and Sokka, “And these are my grandkids.” Gesturing to Azula, he added, “She’s my future daughter-in-law.” Azula waved. Katara stepped forward. “June Pippinpaddleopsicopolis. This is Azura, my fiance.” she said, lacing her fingers through Azula’s. Azula felt a flutter of warmth in her chest at that. Sokka smirked at her and she covertly flipped him off. The guard nodded awkwardly.

“You seem like responsible young women,” he said, “Keep your grandfather out of trouble,” he added to Katara, “Enjoy Omashu!” he said cheerily. As the gates opened, Katara’s hand squeezed Azula’s as a warmth filled her chest.

* * *

Walking through the city, Azula marveled at the ingenuity of the city’s architects. As Aang explained the way the chutes worked, Azula smirked at Katara. 

“Azura? Really?” she asked teasingly. Katara turned red. “I panicked, okay?” she said defensively. “And what was that about Azula being your fiance?” Sokka asked, innuendo dripping from his voice, “Did something happen on Kyoshi Island?” Katara scowled and elbowed her brother in the ribs. Sokka went silent, and didn’t speak until Aang suggested they slide down one of the chutes. Azula was nervous, but Aang assured them they wouldn’t be in any danger whatsoever. As she settled into one of the carts behind Katara, she wrapped her arms around the other woman’s waist as Aang prepared to push off.

* * *

Azula got to her feet amid the ruins of the cabbage cart, staggering away in a daze. She had just looked death in the face. She’d thought her father was the most terrifying thing ever, but she was wrong. She vowed to never let Aang be in charge of any vehicle or mount besides Appa, ever again. She then realized she was surrounded by city gaurds.

* * *

Escorted by the city guard and with her hands bound, Azula was pushed roughly into the throne room, followed by Aang, Katara and Sokka. Sitting on the throne was a hunched-over figure with crazed eyes. Azula did not like the way things were going.  _ I am going to die here,  _ she thought glumly. As they were forced into a kneeling position, a guard addressed the king.

“Your majesty, these juveniles were arrested for vandalism, traveling under false pretenses and malicious destruction of cabbages.” he explained. “No way is that an actual crime.” Azula objected. “Malicious destruction of property, specifically cabbages.” the guard amended, scowling at Azula. The king stroked his chin in contemplation. The cabbage merchant, who had insisted on coming with, jumped up and down, waving a fist in the air. “Off with their heads!” he shouted, “One for each head of cabbage!” Azula was mildly impressed by his enthusiasm. The guard shushed him, saying, “Silence! Only the King can pass down judgement!” he turned to the king. “What is your judgement, sire?” he asked. The king paused to consider, then said, “Throw them… a feast!”

  
  


As she chewed on a bite of chicken leg, Azula wondered if the king was pulling something on them. She’d never really had any reason to read up on what the Fire Nation knew about Omashu before she’d left. The king definitely seemed a little… off. “Is it just me,” Katara leaned over and asked her, “Or is his crown a little crooked?” Azula shrugged. “You don’t get to be King of Omashu without being at least a little clever, so I’m not sure if he’s crazy or just playing us.” she admitted. The king asked Aang where he was from, and Aang answered that he was from Kangaroo Island, somewhere Azula was pretty sure didn’t exist.

“Kangaroo Island? I hear it’s really hopping.” he said. After a moment, Sokka burst out laughing. Seeing everyone look at him strangely, he shrugged and said, “What? It was pretty funny.” The king yawned and stretched his arms. “Well, all these good jokes are making me tired,” he said, “Time to hit the hay.” He stood up, looking at them with a wierd expression. Suddenly, he hurled something at them. Azula reacted instantly, tackling Katara to the floor as Aang caught the object, a chicken leg, in a ball of air. The guards gasped as the king gestured at Aang.

“There’s an airbender in our presence,” he said, “And not just any airbender, the Avatar!” Azula slumped down against Katara. How were they this dumb, she wondered. A cough from Katara made her realize where she was, and she leapt off of the waterbender, blushing furiously. Aang put his hands behind his back as Azula and Katara got to their feet. 

“Now, what do you have to say for yourself,” the king said, a satisfied smile on his face, “Mr. Pippinpaddleopsicopolis?” Aang frowned before throwing his hands in the air. “Alright, you caught me.” he said, “I’m the Avatar, doing my Avatar thing.” He peered under the stone table. “No firebenders here.” he announced. Azula wanted to object, but realized that it probably wouldn’t help. “So, good work everybody!” he said cheerfully, pulling Azula, Sokka and Katara into a big hug. “Love each other,” he told everyone as he backed up slowly toward the chamber’s exit, “Respect all life,” he added, “And don’t run with your spears. We’ll see you next time!” he fished and turned to leave. The way was then blocked by the guards crossing their spears. Katara turned and glared at the king, who was waving a piece of lettuce around.

“You can’t keep us here!” she said angrily, “Let us leave!” Azula sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. Katara was rather pretty, but sometimes she could be very dumb. “Katara, he’s the king here, and we came to the city under false pretenses. He absolutely can keep us here.” she pointed out. Katara sighed and backed down. The king strode over, munching on the lettuce he’d been waving around.

“Tomorrow,” he said, “The Avatar will face three deadly challenges. But for now, the guards will show you to your chambers. The happy couple can take the good chamber, and the other two can take the newly refurbished chamber.” With that, the guards took them down a hallway. Azula and Katara were ushered into one chamber while Sokka and Aang were put into another.

“Why were we put in one room, and the guys in another?” Katara wondered. Azula thought about it and then turned beet red as she realized something. “Katara,” she whispered, mortified, “They still think we’re engaged.” Katara turned around, a furious blush on her face. “Oh.” she said, sitting down, her gaze downcast. After a moment, she looked up. “I’m a little flattered, actually.” she admitted. “I’m sure I could do worse than a dorky Fire Nation Princess.” she added with a smile. Azula chuckled. “Let’s just get some sleep.” she said.

* * *

The next day, Azula and Katara were escorted into a side room, and made to stand beside Sokka. After a moment, the wall retracted, revealing the throne room. “...so I will give your friends some special souvenirs.” the king continued. One of the guards put a ring with a red gemstone on Azula’s finger. She tried to pull it off, but couldn’t. Suddenly, the gemstone shuddered and expanded, coating the ring in red crystal.

“Those delightful rings are made of pure jennamite, also known as creeping crystal. It's a crystal that grows remarkably fast,” the king explained, smiling sinisterly, “By nightfall your friends will be completely covered in it. Terrible thing, really,” he added sympathetically, “I can stop it, but only if you cooperate.” he offered. Aang’s expression turned serious. “Okay,” he said, “I’ll do what you ask.”

Aang performed admirably in the first two challenges. As they were shuttled to a grand arena, Azula noted she was covered up to her neck in crystal. Aang was offered his choice of opponents. He chose the king. When the king threw off his robe to reveal an impressive physique, Azula wanted to smack her forehead, but couldn’t because she was trapped by crystal. Azula watched as Aang realized the king was in fact, his old friend Bumi. Bumi promptly freed Azula, Katara and Sokka from their prisons, revealing they were made of rock candy. As Bumi and Aang caught up, Azula took a bite of the candy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was mainly filler, just expanding on the possibility that Azula’s (fairly obvious) crush on Katara might be reciprocated. In this AU at least, Katara is mostly gay(there’s her thing with Jet, but otherwise, anyone mentioned in a romantic context for her will be female). Additionally, the Southern Water Tribe has a more positive attitude towards queer people, seeing them as caretakers of orphans and those without families, which I think ties in nicely with their focus on familial bonds. However, they also see coming out as a very private and personal thing, so they don’t really acknowledge queer people, because they see it as something you don’t talk about in public. Thus, Katara is known in the village as a bit of a womanizer, and Sokka teases her about having crushes on girls, but neither of them explicitly confirm anything about Katara’s sexuality, which confuses the hell out of Azula.


	5. Winter Solstice, Part 1: The Spirit World

Azula stood wordlessly amidst the burnt forest, staring at the stumps of the destroyed trees. She couldn’t believe this. 

“Why would anyone do this?” Aang asked, his expession anguished, “How could I let this happen?” Azula felt the familiar burning of shame in her chest. “I don’t know why, Aang. Some people are just bad,” she told him, “Like my father.” she added. Aang nodded. “Aang, you didn’t let this happen,” Katara added, “You had nothing to do with this.” Azula nodded.

“Yes, it does. It's the Avatar's job to protect nature,” Aang said sadly, “But I don't know how to do my job.” Katara sighed, and Azula was filled with a surge of affection for the waterbender. “That’s why we’re going to the North Pole,” she said, smiling softly, “To find you a teacher. We already have Azula as a firebending teacher.” Azula smiled awkwardly, not wanting to tell them that Aang had told her she didn’t have to be his firebending teacher if she didn’t want to. Aang sighed.

“Yeah,” he said, “A waterbending teacher. But there's no one who can teach me how to be the Avatar. Monk Gyatso said that Avatar Roku would help me.” 

“How would he do that?” Sokka asked. Azula shrugged. Shortly after Zuko’d been banished, she’d researched what the Fire Nation knew of the Avatar’s abilities. As it turned out, the various Avatars had been rather reticent about any exotic abilities they had, even the ones from the Fire Nation. She didn’t have a clue how he would contact Roku, either.

“But look on the bright side.” she said, picking up an acorn and tossing it to Aang, “These acorns are everywhere,” she explained, “That means the forest will grow back! Every one of these will be a tall oak tree someday, and all the birds and animals that lived here will come back.” Aang smiled at that. A twig snapped behind them, and everyone turned to see an old man walking up.

“Who are you?” Azula asked nervously. The old man smiled.

“When I saw the flying bison, I thought it was impossible!” he said excitedly, “But, those markings ... are you the Avatar, child?” he asked. Aang looked over at the others. Azula nodded. Aang nodded. The man relaxed. “My village desperately needs your help!” he told them.

* * *

As the group entered the village, Azula surveyed the destroyed buildings. A village elder came up to talk to them.

“So, the rumors of your return are true!” he said, “It is the greatest honor of a lifetime to be in your presence.” Azula smirked. It was nice to see people respecting the Avatar, instead of subjecting Aang to weird tests while trapping her in crystal.

“So what’s going on?” she asked. The village elder shrugged. “I'm not sure …” The old man came over. “Our village is in crisis, he's our only hope!” he interjected. He turned to Aang. “For the last few days at sunset, a spirit monster comes and attacks our village,” he explained, “He is Hei Bai, the black and white spirit.” 

“Any idea why?” Azula asked. The old man shrugged. “We do not know,” he admitted, “But each of the last three nights, he has abducted one of our own. We are especially fearful because the winter solstice draws near.” 

“What happens then?” Katara asked. Azula nodded. She wanted to know, too.

“As the solstice approaches, the natural world and the Spirit World grow closer and closer until the line between them is blurred completely.” the old man explained. The village elder nodded. “Hei Bai is already causing devastation and destruction,” he added, “Once the solstice is here, there's no telling what will happen.” Azula frowned.

“That sounds bad.” she admitted. Katara nodded. Aang agreed. “So, what do you want me to do, exactly?” he asked. The village elder clapsed his hands. “Who better to resolve a crisis between our world and the Spirit World than the Avatar himself?” he asked, “You are the great bridge between man and spirits.” he added. “I didn’t know that.” Sokka admitted. “Neither did I.” Azula added. Katara frowned. “Hey great bridge guy, could I talk to you over here for a second?” she asked Aang, motioning him over. “Aang, you seem a little unsure about all of this.” she observed. Aang sighed. 

“Yeah, that might be because I don't know anything at all about the Spirit World,” he admitted, “It's not like there's someone to teach me this stuff!” Azula sighed. “So can you do anything to help?” she asked. Aang shrugged. “I have to try, don't I?” he said, “Maybe whatever I have to do will just ... come to me.” Momo dropped down onto his shoulder.

“I believe in you, Aang. You can do this.” Katara said encouragingly. Sokka sighed. “Sure,” he said, in a similarly encouraging tone, “We’re all going to get eaten by a spirit monster.” he added once Aang was out of earshot. Azula nodded. “Probably. Let’s just hope they don’t like how we taste.” Sokka gave her a look. “Get your mind out of the gutter.” she told him, drawing a smile from the warrior.

* * *

As sunset approached, Azula, Katara and Sokka headed inside one of the intact buildings while Aang stood outside. “Hello, Spirit? Can you hear me?” he asked loudly, “This is the Avatar speaking. I'm here to try to help stuff.” Azula smacked her forehead. “He’s an idiot.” she muttered. Sokka grumbled unhappily. “This isn't right.” he said irritably, “We can't sit here and cower while Aang waits for some monster to show up.” Azula elbowed him. “He’s our best shot at fixing this, so we can and will sit here while he waits for some monster to show up.” Sokka muttered something under his breath, which Azula ignored. 

Once the sun had set, Aang began to call out again, eliciting another groan from Azula. “The sun has set. Where are you, Hei Bai?” he asked loudly, “Well ... spirit ... uhhh ... I hereby ask you to please leave this village in peace.” He spun his staff and stuck it down, in an attempt to seem intimidating. After a moment, he scowled and walked away, an annoyed look on his face. Suddenly, a four-armed black-and-white creature flickered into view. Aang turned to see him, a smile on his face.

“You must be the Hei Bai spirit,” he said cheerfully, “My name is–” He was interupted by the spirit opening its mouth and blasting him with some sort of energy. Azula gasped. They’d clearly bitten off a bit more than they could chew. Hei Bai shot past Aang, blasting energy at various buildings. Azula got up. “I’m going in.” she said, ignoring Sokka and Katara’s protests. She generated a pair of fire daggers as she ran toward the spirit.

“Hey, jackass!” she shouted as she neared the spirit. She hurled a blast of fire at the spirit, which turned out to be a mistake, as the spirit turned to stare at her. It bounded towards her and grabbed her in one of its arms. She heard an anguished shout of “Azula!” from Katara as she was carried away, but then began to feel sleepy as a week of fitful sleep took its toll.

* * *

Azula woke up in an unfamiliar clearing. Looking around, she saw the burned-down forest extending in front of her. Trying to move, she realized she was trapped. She saw Hei Bai stalking toward her. Suddenly, the spirit was buffeted by a gust of wind.

_ “Shoo!”  _ an imperious voice shouted,  _ “You enourmous lummox!”  _ A old man in century-old Fire Nation attire strode into view. His hair was tied up with a hairpiece that looked vaguely familiar to Azula. Shortly after, Mari strode into view, her arms crossed. “You’re Avatar Roku.” Azula said breathlessly.  _ “In the flesh, my child.”  _ Roku said dryly. Mari snorted derisively. “I suppose you’re here to bring me to acccount for what I’ve done,” Azula said, her tone resigned, “Please, just make it quick, I’d like to keep what little honor I have left.” Roku gave her a saddened look.

_ “You don’t think very much of yourself,”  _ he remarked,  _ “Do you?” “Don’t be an ass, Roku.”  _ Mari muttered,  _ “She feels a lot of guilt about her role in the Fire Nation’s oppression. Have some sympathy.”  _ Roku sighed.  _ “I’m not here to punish you, child. I’m here to bring a message. Did you ever wonder why your parents were married?”  _ he asked. “All the time,” Azula muttered, “Why?” 

_ “Your grandfather, Azulon, wanted to see if he could combine the bloodlines of the previous Avatar and the royal family of the Fire Nation, resulting in extraordinarily powerful firebenders.”  _ he said,  _ “Thus, he located my granddaughter, a woman named Ursa, and had her wed to his son, Ozai.”  _

“No.” Azula gasped. It couldn’t be true, could it? “Are you saying that…'' she asked.  _ “Yes,”  _ Roku nodded,  _ “You are my great-granddaughter.”  _ Azula felt her eyes water, as the familiar burn of shame bloomed in her chest. “I’m sorry,” she said, her breath coming in gasps, “I’ve shamed you so much.” Roku frowned.  _ “I don’t understand, my child,”  _ he said, confused,  _ “How have you shamed me?”  _ Mari sighed.  _ “She thinks she’s shat on your legacy by being an eager part of the Fire Nation’s war machine,”  _ she said,  _ “So have some empathy. Don’t your people have a whole thing about honor?”  _ Azula nodded absently, agreeing with Mari. Everthing she’d done for the first fourteen years of her life had trodden on everything her great-grandfather had worked toward.

_ “Child, you bear no guilt for what happened,”  _ Roku told her,  _ “You were a child, trapped in the clutches of a monster.”  _ Azula’s heart clenched at the word. “But so am I.” she said quietly. Roku’s expression turned ashen.  _ “Child, why would you think that?”  _ he asked, his tone horrified.

“Because I was!” Azula shouted, “I hurt everyone around me! I tormented my friends and family! The last thing I told my mother was that I hated her!” she screamed, her eyes watering. “I am a monster.” she said, feeling her chest clench again, relishing the pain. Mari gave her a sympathetic look as Roku shook his head sadly.  _ “Child, you are not a monster, no matter what you may have done,”  _ he said,  _ “And I wanted to tell you that you must come to Crescent Island with the Avatar. There are certain things I must show you.”  _ Azula nodded. “I’ll be there.” she said. 

_ “Good,”  _ Roku replied,  _ “I’m sorry to be so abrupt, but I must go now. I will see you on the solstice, my child.”  _ With a swirl of wind and dust, both he and Mari vanished. Azula sighed and began to wait. Hopefully Aang would recue them soon.

* * *

Azula was shaken from her slumber by a rumbling, as whatever was trapping her began to fall away. She realized she was in front of the village. As she shook out her arms and legs to get some blood flowing, she was almost knocked over by Katara pulling her into a crushing hug. “I was so worried about you!” she told Azula, a hint of worry in her voice, “Don’t ever do  _ anything  _ that stupid again!” she said firmly. Azula nodded. Aang came over, and Katara smiled at him. 

“I'm so proud of you, Aang,” she said, “You figured out what to do, all on your own.” Azula nodded, her hand clasping Katara’s. “I owe you my life,” she told him. Aang nodded. “Actually,” he admitted, “I did have a little help and there's something else.” Azula nodded absently. “What is it?” Sokka asked. “I need to talk to Roku,” Aang explained, “And I think I found a way to contact his spirit.” Katara beamed. “That’s great!” she said. “Creepy,” Sokka added, “But great.”

“There's a temple on a crescent-shaped island,” Aang explained, “And if I go there on the solstice, I'll be able to speak with him.” Katara frowned. “But the solstice’s tomorrow.” she said worriedly. “Yeah, and there's one more problem,” Aang added, “The island is in the Fire Nation.” Azula sighed as Katara and Sokka exchanged fearful looks. Why couldn’t things be easy, for once?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, Roku is where Azula got her sucky social skills from. The other past Avatars agreed he’s not allowed to talk to non-Avatars without a chaperone, lest he stick his foot in his mouth.


	6. Winter Solstice, Part 2: Avatar Roku

As they prepared to leave for Crescent Island, Azula walked over to Aang. “Can we talk,” she asked, “Privately?” Aang nodded. Heading over to an abandoned building, Aang stopped and turned to face Azula. “What’s up?” he asked. “Roku spoke to me,” she told him, “Whatever you’re supposed to do at the temple, I think I’m supposed to come with you.” Aang nodded in agreement. “I figured,” he said, after a moment, “Any idea why?” he asked. Azula took a deep breath and steeled herself.

“He’s my great-grandfather, Aang,” she said, her voice just above a whisper, “At least, that’s what he told me. His granddaughter was my mother.” Aang nodded gravely, walking over and giving Azula a light hug. Azula felt a spike of fear, but pushed it down as she sttled into Aang’s embrace. “Thank you,” she said gratefully, “I needed that.” Aang nodded as he let go. “Are you going to call me ‘Gramps’ now?” he asked, smiling a little as he said it. Azula swatted his shoulder. “Not a chance in hell.” she replied. Aang chuckled. “Just wondering.” he said. Azula smiled. “I know.” she said.

* * *

Returning to the others, they were promptly ushered off by the village elder. As they flew, Azula explained how best to sneak past the blockade. “Katara,” she asked, “Would you be able to create a cloud around us?” Katara nodded uncertainly. “Good,” Azula declared, “That’s how we’re going to get past the Fire Navy. Katara, if you can’t cover us completely, try to cover the bottom and sides. Aang, take us up as high as you can. Between the height and the cloud, the Fire Navy shouldn’t see us.”

As the hours passed by, Azula nervously scanned the waters below, making sure the occasional Fire Navy ship she saw didn’t follow them. As they neared the island, they hadn’t been followed. Azula got up and made her way towards the front of the saddle, giving Katara a wide berth to continue her waterbending. Reaching the front, she cupped her hands around her mouth and shouted to Aang, “Aang, let’s come in for a landing!” Aang gave her a thumbs up as Appa descended.

* * *

Landing on the abandoned far side of the island, Azula and the others dismounted. “You did it buddy,” Aang told Appa, “Nice flying.” Appa bellowed happily in response, rolling to the side to lift three legs in the air. Katara walked over to scratch his belly. “Aww,” she cooed at the sky bison, “You must be tired.” “No, I’m refreshed, ready to kick firebender ass!” Sokka told them. Azula gave him a withering look. “She was talking to Appa, moron.” she said dryly. Azula smiled as Sokka scowled and flipped her off.

As they approached the temple, Azula pulled out a large coil of rope, and turned to Sokka. “I need your boomerang.” she told him. “What for?” he asked. “Grappling hook.” she answered. “They teach Fire Nation princesses how to be spies?” he asked sarcastically. “No,” Azula shot back, as she tied the rope around the boomerang “But we do learn how to sneak into buildings.” she added, twirling it around and tossing it around a second-floor railing. Smiling smugly at Sokka’s shocked expression, Azula gestured to the rope. “Come on, people, we don’t have all day!”

* * *

As the group tip-toed silently through the temple, Aang sidled up to Azula. “Do you know where the chamber is?” he asked. Azula nodded. “I always wanted to visit this place as a kid. I was honestly a little obsessed,” she said, “Until my father found out…” she trailed off, rubbing her shoulder as it twinged slightly. Aang’s expression turned somber, and he looked away awkwardly. 

As they reached the top floor, Aang and Azula rounded a corner and ran straight into an old man in dark red and black robes. “Shit.” Azula swore as she and Aang backed up nervously. “Wait!” the man said, holding his hands up non-threateningly, “I’m on your side!” Azula scoffed as she drew her fans, their tips alight with flames. “Right, and I’m the Earth King,” she drawled sarcastically. “You wish to speak with Avatar Roku,” he told them, as Katara and Sokka joined them, “I can take you to him.” Azula raised a skeptical eyebrow. “Fine,” she said, “But if it turns out you played us,” she warned, “I’m setting your stupid hat on fire.” The old man looked offended for a moment, but then smiled. “I suppose I should introduce myself,” he said, “I am Shyu, a Fire Sage here. When Fire Lord Sozin began the War, my grandfather and the other sages were forced to follow him,” he sighed sadly, “I never wanted to serve the Fire Lord. When I learned you were coming, I knew I would have to betray the other sages.”

“Thank you for helping me,” Aang said somberly, “I realize how difficult this is for you.” Shyu shrugged. He led them up to the sanctuary, the doors of which were open. Azula and Aang stepped inside. Katara and Sokka moved to enter, but were stopped by Azula. “Sorry, guys, Aang and I have to do this one on our own.” Katara gave Azula a downcast look, making Azula’s heart clench in her chest. As she and Aang entered the chamber, Shyu helped Katara and Sokka close the door behind them.

As they waited for the light to hit the statue, Aang turned to Azula. “Are the fans helping?” he asked. Azula shrugged. “It’s been fun developing an entirely new bending style based around them. Kyoshi might have been onto something when she suggested you give them to me.” she admitted. “Benefit of hundreds of past lives. There’s a decent chance, whatever someone’s going through, I’ve been through it.” Aang replied. Azula nodded. “Which includes having a same-sex crush.” Aang added, “I get it, Katara’s kind, she’s smart, and she’s kinda pretty…” he trailed off, waggling his eyebrows. 

“I do not have a crush on Katara!” Azula shouted defensively, “But I’m starting to think you might!” Aang blushed. “Little bit.” he admitted sheepishly. “Well, you are welcome to pursue her, because I don’t have crush on Katara!” Azula retorted. “Sure you don’t.” Aang replied with a smirk. “Look, the light is almost at the statue.” Azula interjected, trying to change the subject. 

As the light struck the statue of Roku, the statue began to emit steam and, once it cleared, Mari and Roku were standing there, while Aang was nowhere to be found. Mari was wearing contemporary Fire Nation attire. Seeing Azula staring at her, she shrugged.  _ “Seemed polite to wear this while manifesting here.”  _ she remarked. Azula nodded. It was one of the things her ettiquete tutors had drilled into her.  _ A good way to show respect to one's host,  _ they’d said,  _ is to wear similar attire to them.  _ “What is it you wanted to tell me?” she asked. Roku sighed.  _ “I wanted to speak to my favorite great-granddaughter.”  _ he said warmly. “I’m your only great-granddaughter.” Azula shot back dryly. Roku shrugged and muttered,  _ “As far as you know…”  _ “What the hell does that mean?” Azula asked.  _ “Not important.”  _ Mari interjected,  _ “We’re here to show you some things it would benefit you greatly to see.”  _ She said, her eyes begining to glow as mist swirled around Azula.

* * *

_ Ursa strode through the palace, her anxiety causing the flames from the candles providing light to flicker. Arriving at her destination, she knocked twice at the door. It opened a crack, revealing Iroh’s concerned face. _

_ “What happened?” he asked, his expression worried as he let her inside. “Ozai was reading my letters. I sent one saying Zuko wasn’t his, and Ozai said…” her expression broke, “He said he’d hurt anyone I cared about.” she finished bursting into tears. Iroh looked downcast as he went over to a teapot and poured a cup of tea. As Ursa sobbed, he walked over and handed her the cup. _

_ “Drink,” he said, “It will help you center yourself.” As she drank, she felt the tea warm her body, its heat settling into her bones. “What am I going to do? He’s going to kill Zuko!” she asked Iroh in a panic, “And Azula, I’m terrified of what he’ll do to Azula. I’ve made my peace with being his punching bag, but Azula’s so… odd, I’m worried she won’t realize she deserves better.” Iroh looked at her sadly. “I’m confident Azula will grow up to be a strong young woman, one who won’t let Ozai push her around,” he said, “Even if you aren’t as present in her life as you were before.” _

_ Ursa blanched. “You’re suggesting I abandon my daughter,” she said furiously, “Why would you suggest such a thing?” Iroh sighed. “I’m not suggesting you abandon her,” he explained calmly, “I’m suggesting you not force her to spend time with you. You’ve seen how uncomfortable she is when you try to ‘expand her horizons’. I’m not telling you to not be there for her when she clearly needs you, I’m telling you to scale back. Let her come to you when she needs you.” He smiled. “That’s something I learned as a general,” he remarked. Ursa sighed. “I suppose you may have a point,” she said, “Even if it feels like I’m shunning my daughter.” Iroh smiled. “Azula will understand.” _

* * *

“But I didn’t,” Azula said, “I saw it as her rejecting me.” Mari sighed.  _ “This isn’t everything we’re showing you.”  _ she said, mist swirling around Azula again…

* * *

_ Ursa yanked Azula into her daughter’s room. “What is wrong with you?” she asked angrily, “Why would you tell Zuko his father was going to kill him?” Azula scowled. “Because it’s true!” She said, “Grandfather said Father would know the pain of losing a son.” she said, smiling when she finished “That’s a horrible thing to accuse the Fire Lord of!” Ursa responded, confused when Azula scowled at her. “But it’s true! Why won’t you believe me?” the nine year-old girl asked. “Because you lie all the time!” Ursa exclaimed. Seeing Azula’s expression harden, she immediately regretted it. “GET OUT!” her daughter shouted, “I HATE YOU!”  _

_ Hours later, as she prepared to leave, Ursa stood in front of the door to her daughter’s bedroom. She should go in, try to provide some last-minute guidance to Azula. After a long moment, she left, blinking away tears as she did. _

* * *

“Oh,” Azula said, surprised by what she’d seen, “I didn’t realize I’d hurt her so badly.”  _ “What a surprise.”  _ Roku muttered, resulting in an elbow to the ribs from Mari.  _ “Wait a minute,”  _ he said, _ “We’re incorporeal, how did you do that?”  _ Mari shrugged and mist began to swirl around Azula again...

* * *

_ Ursa stood in the middle of a forest, a dagger in one hand. She held the dagger against her wrist as tears streamed down her face. Before she could do anything, a soft voice echoed through the trees. _

_ “What troubles you, child?” it asked. Ursa sniffled and let out a shaky breath. “I can’t do this,” she said, “I left my son and daughter in the clutches of a monster, and I’m tormented by the guilt. I’m not fit to be a mother, and I can’t keep living like this.” A large being walked into view. It looked like a woman mixed with a tree, with four glowing white faces peeking through the bark where a head would be. It placed a hand on Ursa’s shoulder as it sat down. _

_ “Oh, child, why would you say you aren’t fit to be a mother? You clearly care for them, otherwise your anguish wouldn’t be so great.” it said. “I chose my son over my daughter, let her think I didn’t love her,” Ursa replied, “All because of something I did. The last time I talked to her, I told her she lies all the time.” The spirit nodded sagely. “What if you could be free of this guilt, Ursa of the Fire Nation?” it asked. “How did you know my name?” Ursa asked.  _

_ “I am the Mother of Faces,” the spirit replied, “I sculpted your face, and by extension, your identity. I know you as you know yourself. You have suffered much, and you are the first to come across me this season. I would be willing to grant a boon.” _

_ “What kind of boon?” Ursa asked. _

_ “A new face,” the Mother of Faces replied, “A new self, free from the anguish you feel, but also free of the memories of your previous life, unless certain words are spoken by one who knows their power.” Ursa looked nervous. “I’d have to forget my children?” she asked. “Yes,” the spirit confirmed, “But you could begin again, forge a new path for yourself. Free of the suffering you’ve endured for so long.” _

_ “But what of my children?” Ursa asked, “I’d be abandoning them again.” The Mother of Faces smiled, a strange sight on four different faces. “I’m certain, if they care for you as much as you care for them, they will find you,” it said, “And that they will understand why you did what you did.” Ursa thought for a long time, before turning to the spirit. “I accept your boon,” she said sadly, “Not because I want it, but because I deserve it. I hurt my daughter, I don’t deserve to remember her.” The Mother of Faces nodded gravely. “Very well.” it said. _

* * *

“Why,” Azula asked, blinking back tears, “Why would she care so much about me, when all I did was hurt her?” Roku frowned.  _ “It makes sense when you’ve had a kid,”  _ he said.  _ “That’s not helpful, Roku,”  _ Mari told the old man,  _ “Azula, what we were trying to show you was that your mother cared about you a lot more than you thought she did.”  _ Azula nodded as Roku vanished. Mari remained, walking over to sit beside Azula.  _ “Why do you find it so hard to believe your mother loved you, Azula?”  _ she asked, putting a hand on the younger girl’s shoulder. 

“Because I don’t even know if I loved her.” Azula said quietly, “I don’t understand my own feelings.” Mari frowned.  _ “How so?”  _ she asked. “When I’m stressed or worried, I feel this pressure on my shoulders, but I don’t understand why! I have to remind myself that that feeling means I’m stressed everytime it happens, and it’s like that for everything else I feel,” Azula explained, her voice breaking, “I’ve been this way as long as I can remember. And for me, having a conversation is exhausting. I have to pay attention to every little thing they say and do, just to figure out what they mean.” Mari rubbed Azula’s shoulder as the firebender began to cry. 

“What’s wrong with me?” she asked between sobs, “Am I broken? Or was I just born without a soul?” Mari gave her a shocked look.  _ “Why would you think you have no soul?”  _ she asked, horrified. “Because I don’t even know if I can feel, or if I’ve just deluded myself into believing I can.” Azula answered. A moment later, she was enveloped in a massive hug from the former Avatar.  _ “You have a soul, Azula,”  _ Mari said,  _ “Of that, I am certain.” _ Azula nodded. “I guess you are the Avatar, and you would know.” she said. Mari nodded.  _ “You are a good person, Azula, even if you don’t believe it.”  _ she said, as steam began to surround them once again. When it cleared, Azula was left alone with Aang. 

“Did you learn what you needed to learn?” Azula asked the Avatar. “I did,” Aang replied, “Did you?” Azula sighed as they headed toward the door. “I’m not sure.” she admitted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, Ursa felt bad enough about how she treated Azula that she was going to kill herself. I figure that while Ursa had regrets about her parenting, they were always about Azula, not Zuko. With Zuko, she did everything right, but with Azula, it always seemed like she had trouble, and Ursa seems like the person to focus on her failures. Hence, why she doesn’t mention Zuko that much. Also, Mari might have abridged the visions for time.
> 
> I am also going to say that Ursa suffers from alexithymia as well, as it shows up frequently with those who have PTSD related to domestic abuse, and can affect how a parent raises and connects with a child. So, in that sense, Azula also mimicked personality traits from Ursa. This will come up in future chapters, namely how Ursa and Azula have many similarities.
> 
> I also would like to explain why Azula seems to have taken on the personality of her post-breakdown self. In this AU, she ran away after discovering that her father didn’t care about her(Specifically, overhearing him calling her desire for his love “pathetic”, and admitting that he only sees her as a useful tool). She did break down after she left the palace, but it wasn’t like in canon, where she lashed out at everyone. Since she didn’t have anyone to lash out at, she turned her loathing inward, thinking it was something wrong with her that was why no one seemed to care about her. Coupled with her insecurities about her autism, it led to her feeling like she was broken, or a creature wearing a human skin, instead of a monster. That said, she still feels emotional pain when she refers to herself as a monster, and does it as a sort of emotional self-harm. This is why she refuses to acknowledge her crush on Katara, she doesn’t think she actually has the capacity to be in love with anyone, much less someone who is kind and caring. It’s going to take consistent reassurance from people that she’s human for her to believe it.
> 
> Also, show of hands, who heard Mabel from Gravity Falls saying “Grappling hook!” when Azula used Sokka’s boomerang as one?


	7. The Waterbending Scroll

“Would you sit down?” Sokka said irritably, as Aang paced around Appa’s saddle, “If we hit a bump, you'll go flying off. What's bugging you anyway?” he asked. Azula sighed. Aang had explained that the comet that had allowed Sozin to wipe out the Air Nomads was returning next summer, and that he would have to master all four elements by then. “It's what Avatar Roku said,” Aang replied, “I'm supposed to master all four elements before that comet arrives.” 

“Well, let's see,” Sokka said dryly, “You pretty much mastered airbending and that only took you a hundred and twelve years. I'm sure you can master three more elements by next summer.” Azula sighed loudly. “What?” Sokka asked irritably. “It’s a daunting task. I trained for years to get where I am,” Azula explained, “And I’m sure Aang devoted a similar amount of time to his airbending.” Aang nodded. “Bottom line,” Azula said, “It’s a bit of a tall order to learn three in six months.” Aang frowned worriedly.

“I haven't even started waterbending and we're still weeks away from the North Pole.” he said anxiously, “What am I gonna do?” Katara opened her mouth to say something before being interupted by Sokka. “Don’t worry about it!” he interjected confidently, “We already have Azula as your firebending teacher, all we need to do is find an earthbending teacher, and we’re set!” Azula and Aang gave him an awkward look. “Why are you looking at me like that?” Sokka asked, a worried expression on his face. Azula smiled awkwardly.

“Well, I’m not really going to be Aang’s firebending teacher. Not in the state I’m in right now.” she told them. Katara gave Azula a worried look. “Are you alright?” she asked. “I’m okay,” Azula assured her, “I’m just not in the right place, spiritually, to teach anyone.” Katara nodded, looking much less worried. “That makes sense.” she said absently. Sokka scowled. “So,” he began, “We not only have to find an earthbending teacher for Aang, we also have to find another master firebender who’s willing to betray their country,” he said, his voice getting higher as he continued, “Because the one we already know doesn’t want to!” Aang stepped forward, his expression grim. “Don’t ever say that again!” he shouted, “You have no idea what she’s been through!” 

“Maybe I would know,” Sokka shot back, “If she actually bothered to tell us!” Aang’s expression turned furious. “You have no right to ask her that!” he said. Azula suddenly heard a buzzing in her ears as it felt like she could feel every ounce of blood pumping through her veins. She sat down shakily as Aang and Sokka continued arguing.

“Guys stop!” Katara interrupted, “You’re scaring her!” she added, gesturing to Azula, who had curled up in a fetal position. “Land. Now.” she said firmly. Sokka nodded meekly as he took Appa into a landing. “Maybe I could teach Aang some of what I know.” Katara suggested.

* * *

As Katara and Aang practiced waterbending in the pool by the waterfall they’d found, Azula sat at the top of the falls. What had happened to her? She’d never felt like that before. After they’d landed, she’d scrambled off of Appa and ran up to the top of the falls. It had taken thirty minutes of the breathing exercises she’d learned when she’d started firebending to get back to feeling normal. She climbed back down and retrieved her bag of firebending scrolls. Walking back up to the falls, she sat down and opened up one. As she read, she remembered her uncle talking about how some previous Avatar had suggested that all the elements were one, simply in different states, and that one could apply the principles from one type of bending to another. 

Hearing Katara telling Aang about pushing and pulling being part of waterbending, she had an idea. Lighting a candle, she set it down and stood about ten feet away.  _ Push and pull,  _ she thought,  _ push and pull.  _ She mimicked the motions she’d seen Katara use while bending, combining it with her firebending. At first, nothing happened. Then, after a couple of minutes, the flame turned blue and began to pull toward her and became a thin stream of blue fire extending from the candle’s wick towards her. Azula stopped and let it return to normal, then repeated what she had done. This time, it was much easier. 

Azula laughed as she pulled the flame from the wick and made it whirl around her, giggling in wonder at what she’d done. She turned and saw Aang, Sokka and Katara staring up at her in amazement. She gave them a withering glare, which got them to awkwardly look away. Azula returned to her work, trying to make the fire she’d pulled from the candle mimic the way Katara’s water moved when she bent it. After about an hour, she was exhausted. Looking around, she saw that Aang, Katara and Sokka were nowhere to be seen. Heading over to Appa, she saw they had left a note on his saddle. 

_ -Headed to the market. Be back soon.- _

Azula smiled and sat back against Appa’s warm fur. After all she’d done, she’d earned a nap.

* * *

Azula was awoken by Aang, Sokka and Katara returning hurriedly from the market. Apparently, Katara had stolen a waterbending scroll and had made the group the enemy of a pirate crew. Sokka was very angry about this, though Azula didn’t get why. If the pirates knew who they were, they’d be after them for the sizable bounty posted on their heads. After Aang defused the argument between the siblings, Azula asked if she could take a look at the scroll when they were done with it, as she thought it might give her some ideas for her new style of firebending.

“What are you calling it?” Aang asked, “Every bending technique has a special name, like the Misty Step form or something like that.” Azula frowned. “I haven’t thought of one.” she admitted. “Maybe you can call it the Indecisive Lesbian.” Sokka muttered, just loud enough for Azula to hear.  _ On a random day in the future,  _ she vowed to herself,  _ I’m going to set that stupid wolftail of his on fire.  _ She ignored the taunt and said she’d think about names.

* * *

Katara began trying out the forms in the scroll. She ran into trouble with the water whip, smacking herself in the face with the water, earning a guffaw from Sokka and an amused smile from Azula. Katara glared at Sokka. “What’s so funny?” she asked irritably. “I'm sorry, but you deserved that.” he said, turning to Aang, “You've been duped,” he told the airbender, “She's only interested in teaching herself.” Aang smiled thinly at the jibe and turned to Katara, a reassuring smile on his face. “You’ll get it.” he told her, “You just gotta shift your weight through the stances.” he said, moving through the form, executing the move perfectly, oblivious to Katara’s annoyed expression. “There, see, the key to bending is…” he began, before Katara interrupted.

“Will you please shut your air hole?” she shouted at him, “Believe it or not your infinite wisdom gets a little old sometimes! Why don't we just throw the scroll away since you're so naturally gifted!” Sokka glared at her. “What?” she shouted at him. After a moment, her expression softened. “I’m so sorry,” she said, her face aghast, “I don’t know what came over me.” Katara took the scroll and walked over and handed it to Azula.

“Here, this is yours,” she told Azula, “I don't want to have anything to do with it anymore.” Azula considered pointing out that it was perfectly okay to be frustrated by having trouble learning something. Agni knew she was a terror when she had trouble with her lightning generation. She’d been awful to the servants at the time. It had turned out that the stress she’d put on herself to learn how to generate lightning had actually been hampering her ability to do so successfully, and after taking some time to relax, she’d been able to do it. Azula resolved to talk to Katara the next day, and offer her the scroll back. For now, though, she was going to see if she could apply anything from the scroll to her nascent firebending style.

* * *

Azula woke up in the middle of the night and headed out the required hundred paces to relieve herself. That rule had been her idea, after an incident involving some wild asparagus and some barely-spoiled fish. Right now, however, she was regretting having implemented it.

Returning to the campsite, she saw that all three of her companions were gone. Azula pinched the bridge of her nose. There were days when she wondered why she hadn’t taken Aang’s offer of heading back to the ship and not following them on their quest to save the world. She often had these thoughts on days they pulled shit like this. She trudged over to Appa and pulled a brush out of one of the saddlebags.

“At least you don’t disappear in the middle of the night.” muttered as she brushed the sky bison’s fur. Appa made a whining noise, opening his mouth and sticking his tongue out to give Azula a hearty lick. Azula sidestepped the huge tongue and put the brush back in the saddlebag. Looking around at their campsite, she sighed. In all likelihood, whatever was going on with Aang, Sokka and Katara, they would probably need to leave in a hurry.

“Looks like I’m packing up,” she said to no one in particular. After packing up everyone’s belongings and making sure the fire was out, she grabbed a journal she’d gotten at a market and started writing down some basic moves for her new firebending style. About half an hour later, Appa’s ears pricked up and he took off, startling Azula. Appa flew towards a waterfall, where Azula could see Aang, Katara and Sokka in a small Fire Navy skiff, which was promptly rammed over the falls by a larger boat. They jumped and were easily caught by Appa, landing in the saddle next to Azula.

“Next time, leave a note,” she said, giving them a stern glare, “I was afraid you’d been kidnapped.” “Um, we were kidnapped.” Aang replied. “Then I was right to be worried,” Azula said smugly, then paused as she looked back at the falls, “Why did my brother just throw a Pai Sho tile off a cliff?” she asked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One of the problems I ran into while writing was how to have Azula’s bending grow. She couldn’t get much better at firebending, or they wouldn’t need Aang. So I decided to have her expand her skills outward, becoming more versatile in what she can do. And what better way to show her connection to Katara than by having her new style be based on waterbending? Plus, it demonstrates that Azula is definitely a firebending prodigy, already knowing all there is to know, and able to devise her own style.
> 
> Also, Azula will eventually set Sokka’s wolftail on fire during the series.


	8. Jet

Azula hated Jet. She hated how smug he was, she hated that he referred to Fire Nationals as swine and she especially hated the way he looked at Katara. She had to repress the urge to set the stupid fucking piece of wheat he always had in his teeth on fire.

They had met Jet when, in the process of freeing Momo from a trap, they’d run into a Fire Nation camp. Luckily, Azula had used her make-up and some supplies she’d obtained at a market to disguise herself as someone from the Earth Kingdom. Jet had invited them to his hideout and introduced them to his fellow “Freedom Fighters”, who, despite his claims, Azula doubted had been anything more than an annoyance to the Fire Nation. Katara had seemed somewhat taken with him, while Aang and Sokka seemed more cautious. Aang said he’d seen a darkness in Jet, while Sokka simply didn’t like how the rebel leader was looking at his sister. Sokka had gone on a mission with Jet and had yet to return. 

Katara was making Jet a hat, which Azula thought was stupid, but hadn’t said anything. She was sitting on the edge of the platform next to Aang, complaining about their host. 

“...he’s just so Agni-damned smug!” she groused, “Smiling at us like he knows something we don’t.” Aang chuckled. “What’s so funny?” she asked. “It just seems you might be a little bit jealous of Jet, probably because Katara seems to like him.” the airbender replied. “I told you,” Azula insisted, “I don’t have a crush on Katara!” Aang smirked. “Whatever you say,” he replied. They were interrupted by a commotion at one of the platforms.

Aang and Azula made their way over to see what was going on. Katara was there, ready to present her hat. As Jet, Pipsqueak, Smellerbee, and Sokka were pulled up. Sokka stalked over to them, a scowl on his face.

“Is Jet back?” she asked, “I made him this.” she held up the hat. It was really ugly, made of stitched together leaves and some flowers. Azula held back a snort. “Yeah, he’s back,” Sokka replied bitterly “But we’re leaving. Your  _ boyfriend’s  _ a thug.” he added. Katara gasped. “He is not my boyfriend!” she insisted. Sokka scoffed. “Right,” he shot back, “He's messed up, Katara.”

“The Fire Nation killed his family,” Aang interjected, “That would mess anyone up. Try and cut him some slack, Sokka.” Sokka scowled. “He beat and robbed a harmless old man!” he shouted. “Okay, that’s bad.” Aang admitted. “I find it entirely in keeping with what I know of him.” Azula muttered. “I’d like to hear Jet’s side of the story.” Katara protested. “I would, too.” Aang said, crossing his arms and frowning.

* * *

According to Jet, the old man had been a Fire Nation assassin, sent to kill Jet because he was such a danger to the Fire Nation. It had taken all of Azula’s self-control to keep from pointing out that the dagger he’d said belonged to the old man wasn’t even made in a Fire Nation style, that Jet was an annoyance at most to the Fire Nation, and that, even if he were an actual threat, they wouldn’t send an assassin, they’d just burn the forest to the ground. Eventually, she’d stalked off to be alone.

“What’s your problem with Jet?” she heard Katara ask. Azula turned and saw the waterbender leaning against the tree the platform was anchored to. “Why don’t you have a problem with him?” Azula shot back, “He’s a hateful terrorist.” Katara scowled. “Because he hates the Fire Nation?” she retorted, “They wiped out the Air Nomads! They tried to wipe out the Southern waterbenders! Tell me they don’t deserve it!” Azula heard a buzzing in her ears. “I guess I’m one of the good ones.” she said bitterly, feeling a sick pleasure in seeing Katara’s ashen expression. She pushed past the shocked waterbender and left the hideout. She needed to be alone.

* * *

Azula scowled as she kicked at the dirt. Where the hell did Katara get off making her feel like shit for being a Fire National? The eyedrops she’d used to disguise herself had worn off, and she used a sleeve to wipe off her make-up. She hated having to hide who she was. Her father may have been a piece of shit, but he’d at least raised her to be proud of who she was. She stood on a bluff overlooking the dam and reservoir, wondering why so many people seemed to hate her for her heritage.

Suddenly, she heard people approaching. Ducking into the bushes, she saw Jet, accompanied by the Duke, Longshot and Smellerbee, who were carting a loaded wagon full of barrels. Jet looked out over the dam. “Now listen, you are not to blow the dam until I give the signal,” he told the others, “If the reservoir isn't full, the Fire Nation troops could survive.” The Duke frowned. “But what about the people in the town,” he asked Jet, “Won't they get wiped out too?” Jet sighed and put a hand on the Duke’s shoulder. “Look Duke,” he said, “That's the price of ridding this area of the Fire Nation.” He turned to Longshot. “Now don't blow the dam until I give the signal,” he told the archer, “Got it?” Longshot nodded.

Azula began to slowly back away, careful not to make any noise. She needed to find Aang and Sokka, they’d believe her. She heard a rustling in the bushes and then felt a knife at her back. Pipsqueak shoved her into the open, where Smellerbee instantly had a knife to her throat. They dragged her over to where Jet was.

“I thought Azula was a Fire Nation name,” he said with a smirk as Smellerbee forced Azula to her knees, “Does the Avatar and his friends know what you are?” he asked. “Yes.” Azula spat. “Then he’s a fool,” Jet remarked, “You can’t trust anyone from the Fire Nation. All they do is destroy.” 

“At least we have honor!” Azula retorted, “I would never have sunk this low!” Which was a lie, her past self would  _ definitely  _ have done something like this, but Jet needn’t know that. Jet scoffed. “Whatever, Fire bitch,” he said contemptuously, gesturing to Pipsqueak, “Take her for a walk, a long walk.” he ordered them. Azula sighed. 

* * *

As Azula was marched through the forest, hands bound behind her back, she wondered if any of the others would miss her, or if they had even noticed they’d gone. “You do realize what Jet’s doing is an atrocity, right?” she asked Pipsqueak and Smellerbee, “How can you stand by and do nothing while Jet wipes out a whole town?” Pipsqueak shrugged. “Hey listen Azula, Jet's a great leader,” he offered, “We follow what he says, and things always turn out okay. Plus, you’re Fire Nation, and you lied about who you were, so I don’t really trust anything you say.” 

“If that's how Jet leads,” came a voice from the shadows, “Then he's got a lot to learn.” Sokka stepped into view, boomerang drawn. Azula felt a pleasant warmth spread through her chest. Smellerbee and Pipsqueak moved to strike Sokka, who dodged and shoved them into the Fire Nation snares, leaving them hanging in mid-air. Sokka cut Azula free with his boomerang. “Thanks,” Azula told him as she rubbed her wrists, “But we need to warn the village. Jet’s planning to blow the dam, which will kill everyone.” Sokka nodded. “Let’s go.” he said.

* * *

The townspeople were unconvinced that the dam being destroyed could actually flood the village. “There hasn’t been any rain in weeks!” one insisted. Sokka had managed to get the old man who Jet had accosted to vouch for the rebel leader’s extremism, but the villagers were skeptical that he could actually accomplish his goal. After watching him flail about for a few minutes, Azula decided to step in. “Listen to me, um, peasants!” she said firmly, only stumbling slightly, “If we’re wrong, we will only have moderately inconvienced you. If we’re right, we’ll have saved your life. Now, everybody grab any personal keepsakes and meet outside the village in thirty minutes!” The villagers all nodded and quickly dispersed.

Thirty minutes later, aided by the village elder, Azula finished her headcount. Everyone was there. They’d saved the village. She was shaken from congratulating herself by the sound of a little girl crying. She hurried over. “What’s wrong?” she asked, not really caring, just wanting to find a way to stop the awful sound of the crying. “Misses Pretty isn’t here!” the girl bawled. “Her doll.” the girl’s father explained. “I’ll go get it,” Azula said instantly, “Can you tell me where your house is?” The father gave directions and Azula sprinted back toward the village, yelling at Sokka to watch the villagers.

Re-entering the village, Azula hurried over to the girl’s house, kicking open the door. She ran into the girl’s bedroom and whirled around, searching for the doll. She saw it tucked under the covers of the bed, but as she grabbed it, she heard a loud boom.  _ Shit,  _ she thought as she ran out of the house and saw a massive wall of water bearing down on her. Tucking the doll under her arm, she sprinted away from the wave. As she ran, she realized she couldn’t outrun the wave on her own. Getting a running start, she leapt into the air, pulled in her knees and kicked with both feet, launching a long burst of fire out that launched her through the air in a barely controlled arc. Unable to reorient herself without dropping the doll, she landed hard in front of the assembled villagers. 

As she sat up, the little girl came up to her, an expectant look on her face. Azula smiled and handed her the doll, which had a little dirt on it from the rough landing. “It’s dirty,” she said, and Azula wanted to scream at how ungrateful she was being. The girl walked over to the water’s edge and scooped up a little water in one hand, rinsing the dirt off the doll. When she finished, the girl walked back over to Azula and told her cheerfully, “All better now.” Azula smiled. “Yuni, what do you say when someone does something nice?” the girl’s mother prompted. “Thank you.” the girl said sweetly. “No problem,” Azula said as she collapsed onto her back. Sokka went to go get Appa and find Aang and Katara as Azula lay on the ground, exhausted but happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Azula being bitchy and jealous of Jet made this chapter so fun to write. 
> 
> I also don’t really like Jet, mainly because he’s not really any better than the Fire Nation and is only prevented from matching their scale by his lack of resources. And his casual prejudice against the Fire Nation only seemed justifiable by the fact that there weren’t any sympathetic Fire Nation characters there. Here, Azula feels(rightly, in my opinion) that the way he talks about the Fire Nation is horrible. In later chapters, I plan to have Azula share some of the positive memories she has of the Fire Nation and some of the positive values it has buried beneath the xenophobia, fleshing out and humanizing the Fire Nation beyond “The Evil Empire”.
> 
> Azula’s comment to Katara is based on a tendency I still struggle with to go for the most hurtful thing I can say to someone in an argument when I’m angry at them(usually my parents). It’s one of the things about Azula that I see in myself, that we both use our words as weapons, and that we both tend to go straight for the jugular. I’ve learned over the years to keep it in check, but, in canon at least, Azula hasn’t. However, Azula wasn’t wrong. Katara is prejudiced against Fire Nationals, and has yet to acknowledge that prejudice or attempt to move past it. 
> 
> I was originally going to have Azula go after Katara and Aang and confront Jet, but when I saw the little girl’s doll, I realized that, even though Azula seems to hate dolls, she, underneath all the cruelty and hurt, is the sort of person who would go back to get a little girl’s doll for her. Remember, one of the basic parts of her personality is that she’s lonely and wants to have friends. And while she may not consider dolls good enough to serve as her friends, I think she would understand, on some level, the relationship between the girl and her doll, and would go out of her way(or risk her life) to reunite a little girl with a friend. Plus, little girls are adorable.


	9. The Great Divide

Azula was sitting in Appa’s saddle as Katara and Sokka argued. “Hey,” she heard Aang say as he came over and sat down beside her. “Arguing stressing you out?” he asked. Azula nodded. Aang gave her a sympathetic look. “Maybe we could try some meditation, see if that helps you tune them out.” he suggested. Azula sighed. “Anything else on your mind?” Aang asked, “Like the fact that you hurt the feelings of a girl you like and the two of you haven’t talked about it?” Azula glared at him. “What? Communication is essential to healthy relationships, romantic or otherwise,” Aang insisted, “At the very least, you should give her a chance to talk.” Azula sighed. “I suppose you’re right,” she admitted, “I’ll talk to her, after she and Sokka stop fighting. I do not want to be caught in the middle of that.”

* * *

The next day, the group arrived at the Great Divide, a massive canyon and landmark in the Earth Kingdom. Standing at the edge, Azula idly wondered what a dropped pebble would do to someone at the bottom of the canyon. She’d heard stories about people dropping spare coins or buttons off towers and accidentally killing someone. Her contemplation was interrupted by arguing, not from Sokka and Katara, but from two large groups of people approaching the edge of the canyon.

“Who are these guys?” Azula asked Aang. “Beats me,” the airbender replied, “But they don’t seem too happy with one another.” Azula slapped Aang on the shoulder. “Well, as Avatar, I think it’s your job to handle these sorts of things,” she said, getting to her feet, “So, good luck.” 

Azula headed over to Katara. “Hey,” she said nervously. Katara gave her an awkward smile. “Hey,” she replied, “What’s up?” Azula swallowed nervously. “I wanted to apologize for what I said when we argued. I’m aware of how my people have been responsible for much of the suffering in your life, but they’re also  _ my _ people. Regardless, I shouldn’t have said what I did, and I’m sorry if I hurt you.” Katara nodded. 

“I’m sorry too.” Katara told her. “It’s honestly really easy to forget you’re from the Fire Nation,” she admitted, “You’re not at all like anyone from the Fire Nation I’ve met.” Azula stared at her. “When did you meet someone from the Fire Nation?” she asked. “Well, there was your brother,” Katar replied, “But before that…” she trailed off, an anguished expression on her face. Azula paused. “It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it.” she said. “No, it’s fine.” Katara replied, taking a deep breath.

“When I was eight, our village was invaded by the Fire Nation. One of the soldiers cornered me while I was trying to hide,” Katara began. Azula shivered, fear flooding her veins. There wasn’t really any way this story could end well. “My mom came in and asked the soldier to let me go, as she was the waterbender they were searching for,” Katara continued, “She told me to go find my father. That was the last time I saw her alive.” Azula covered her mouth with one hand. “I’m sorry,” she said, “I assure you that once my father is defeated and I’m Fire Lord, I’ll find your mother’s killer and ensure they’re brought to justice.” Katara gave her a confused look.

“Why would you be Fire Lord?” she asked. Azula smiled. “Well, my brother was exiled because my father thought he was weak, and my uncle was never interested, I’m likely still listed as my father’s official succesor, even if I did run away.” she explained. Katara nodded, smiling thinly. “Thank you for offering, but you don’t need to go to all that trouble for me,” she said, “It’s probably not worth it.”

“Of course it’s worth it,” Azula responded instantly, “What that soldier did was dishonorable. His behavior demands I make amends.” “Really?” Katara asked, “Why?” “Well,” Azula explained, “As a member of the Royal Family, any action undertaken by a member of the Fire Nation’s government reflects on me. I bear a responsibility in anything a soldier does. It’s part of the Fire Lord’s job to hold their soldiers and officers accountable for their actions.”

“Your father doesn’t seem to care.” Katara remarked. “Well, he’s kind of a terrible person,” Azula replied, “So that’s to be expected.” “You always say he’s terrible or a horrible person,” Katara said, “But, don’t you have any good memories of him?” she asked. Azula sighed. “Not anymore, she answered, “Not since I left.” Katara nodded. “It’s okay,” she said gently, “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.” Azula smiled as she left to go see how Aang was doing.

* * *

Aang was not doing well. The two tribes, who apparently had some sort of hundred year-old feud, were shouting over one another, while Aang tried desperately to make himself heard. Azula threaded her way through the throngs of arguing people to reach the Avatar. “Negotiations broke down?” she asked, sauntering over. “Pretty much,” Aang replied gloomily, “I offered to have Appa fly their sick and injured over while the rest crossed together, but both sides rejected that.” Azula frowned. “Any idea why they hate each other so much?” she asked. “As far as I can tell,” Aang answered, “It has something to do with an orb. It’s part of a ritual of the Gan-Jin tribe,” he pointed at the better-dressed tribesmen, “And they believe the Zhangs,” he gestured to the poorly-dressed tribesmen, “Stole the orb, which the Zhangs deny.” He sighed. “I’m not sure what to do,” he said, “I considered saying I was there and making up some story to bring them together, but that isn’t going to work for long.

Azula nodded. “Probably not,” she admitted, “But you are onto something there.” Aang shot her a confused look. “How so?” he asked. “Why don’t we try and figure out what really happened?” Azula suggested, “Maybe that will settle this feud.” Aang shrugged. “It’s better than any of my ideas,” he admitted, “Now, can you get their attention?” he asked. Azula nodded, and cupped her hands, blowing a burst of fire into the air. Everyone stopped and turned to look at her.

“Thank you,” Azula said cheerfully, gesturing to Aang, “Now, the Avatar will hear both tribes' recollections of what happened. He will then determine what happened based on that and by communing with the land. His decision is final, and you both will go down together and you will behave,” she explained, her tone firm, “Understood?” The assembled tribesmen nodded. “Good.” Azula said, striding off to go see how Appa was doing.

* * *

As it turned out, the reason the Zhangs and Gan-Jin were feuding was because, in an attempt to assist a Gan-Jin tribesman in completing a ritual when the tribesman was injured, a member of the Zhangs had inadvertently invalidated the ritual. The Gan-Jin dying from his injuries had not helped the situation. Once it was resolved, apologies were given, and a feast was thrown. As Sokka and Katara ate, Azula watched them from Appa’s saddle.

“Looks like you and Katara made up.” she heard Aang say as he dropped down beside her, “I’m glad.” “Me too.” Azula agreed. “You did well today,” she added, “Resolving that dispute.” Aang smiled sadly. “Sometimes I wish I could solve everything this way,” he said, “But I don’t suppose I could just march into the Fire Lord’s throne room and talk him into not taking over the world, can I?” Azula shook her head. “Sorry,” she told him, “I don’t think that’s an option. I’m afraid you might have to kill him, Aang.” Aang nodded. “I know,” he replied, “And I don’t like it, but if that’s what it takes, I’ll do it.” Azula sighed as the sun began to set. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, “The Great Divide” is one of my least favorite episodes of the series. I was going to not do a version of it, but was forced into it because of the events of “Jet”. I decide to have Katara tell Azula about her mother, mainly because this Azula wouldn’t stand for something like that, and also to reveal that, while she’s become a much better person, Azula still wants to be Fire Lord, and that she hasn’t shed the ambition and drive that’s a huge part of her character.
> 
> I also wanted to show how Aang is different here. He’s matured and is less childish, while still managing to keep his idealism and wonder(I hope!). He’s a little more like Yangchen here, being pragmatic about the likeliness he might have to kill Ozai, but still preferring to find a nonviolent solution.


	10. The Storm

Azula sighed as the group milled about the market. They had run out of money, despite Azula’s impeccable bookkeeping, and were trying to figure out what to do. Katara had suggested Sokka get a job.

“How come Azula doesn’t have to get a job?” he complained. “Because I don’t have any marketable skills besides warfare?” Azula retorted. Sokka paused, then nodded as if conceding Azula’s point. At that moment, a couple started arguing behind them.

“We shouldn't go out there!” the woman said to her partner, “Please, the fish can wait. There's going to be a terrible storm.” Aang gave Azula and the others a worried look. The woman’s husband was unimpressed. “You're crazy,” he said, gesturing at the clear sky, “It's a nice day. No clouds, no winds, no nothing. So quit your nagging, woman.”

“Maybe we could find some shelter?” Aang asked worriedly. Azula gave him a confused look. Why was he so nervous all of a sudden? Sokka gave Aang a skeptical look. “Are you kidding?” he asked, “Shelter from what?” Azula saw Katara giving her a confused look and shrugged, indicating she had no clue why Aang was acting so strange.

“My joints say there's going to be a storm!” the fisherman’s wife insisted, “A bad one.” The fisherman remained unconvinced. “Well, it's your joints against my brain.” he retorted. “Then I hope your brain can find someone else to haul that fish,” his wife replied, “ 'Cause I ain't comin'.” Her husband scowled. “Then I'll find a new fish hauler,” he declared, “And pay him double what you get!”

“I’ll go.” Sokka offered. “You’re hired!” the fisherman told him. When Aang and Katara gave him a concerned look, he shrugged. “What?” he asked, a little defensively, “You said get a job ... and he's paying double.” The fisherman did a double take. “Double?” he asked, “Who told you that nonsense?” As Sokka’s face fell, Azula gave him a comforting pat on the shoulder. “Always get promises of bonuses in writing.” she advised.

* * *

After Sokka had departed, Aang insisted they find some shelter from the storm. “Why are you so worried about storms?” Azula asked. “How do you think I ended up in that iceberg?” Aang replied, “I got caught in a huge thunderstorm, and a lightning strike knocked Appa out of the sky.” Katara gasped. “No wonder you’re so nervous!” she said. Aang smiled. “Thanks,” he said.

* * *

After finding a cave large enough for Appa and starting a fire, Azula, Aang and Katara sat around the fire, listening to the downpour. “Looks like the fisherman’s wife was right,” Azula remarked wryly. Aang shivered. “Yeah,” he said shakily, “She was.” Katara smiled and put an arm around the Avatar’s shoulder. “It’s okay to be scared, Aang,” she told him, “I can’t stand the smell of burnt meat.”

“Why?” Aang asked. Katara went still. “It, um, reminds me of my mother’s death.” she admitted. Azula felt her blood run cold as the familiar burn of shame bloomed in her chest. “I was showing my father where I’d seen her,” she explained haltingly, “And when I came into the room, I… I saw her. And all I could smell was burnt meat. So, since then, burnt meat makes me want to throw up.” Azula scooted over and wrapped Katara in a loose hug. “I’m sorry you had to see that.” she said. 

“What about you, Azula?” Aang asked, “Do you have any strange fears?” Azula rocked back and forth a little. Seeing her discomfort, he backpedaled. “You don’t have to tell us anything.” he said hurriedly. “It’s okay.” Azula reassured him, “I should probably talk to someone about it.” She stood and pulled off her jacket and undershirt. Aang squeaked and averted his eyes as Azula turned around, showing off the myriad burn scars that marked her back.

“Almost all of these are from my father.” she told them. “That one,” she gestured to a circular burn on her shoulder, “Was when he heard me going on about that temple we visited. This one,” she pointed to a jagged line down her back, broken up by her wrappings, “Was when he first struck me with lightning. And those are just the biggest ones.” Putting her undershirt back on, she turned back around. Aang and Katara looked horrified. “How could he do that to you.” Katara asked, her voice a whisper. “My father is not a kind man.” she explained simply. “Still, how could you do that to your own child?” Katara asked. Aang looked sick. “Some people are just… bad.” he said, his voice almost angry. 

CRACKKOOOOM! 

The boom of thunder startled Aang, causing him to jump a little. “Why don’t we talk about something more pleasant,” he said sheepishly, “What’s your happiest memory, Katara?” he asked. Katara smiled. “My first kiss.” she said. “Who was it with?” Aang asked. “Friend of mine named Niyok. She was cute.” Katara replied. Aang elbowed Azula in the ribs.  _ Huh, she likes girls,  _ Azula thought. “How was it?” Aang asked with a smirk. Katara winced. “Not great, but she looked so happy afterward, I couldn’t help but smile.” she explained. Aang elbowed Azula again. She elbowed him back. “What’s your happiest memory, Aang?” she asked, smirking. Aang smiled. 

“It was when I developed my air-scooter technique.” he replied proudly. “Air-scooter?” Azula asked. Aang smiled and generated a ball of air he balanced on like a top. He rode around in a circle, then let the ball disipate and dropped to the ground. “It’s what got me my tattoos.” he added. Katara smiled. “So what’s your happiest memory, Azula?” she asked, “Since we’re all sharing.” Azula smiled thinly.

“It happened when I was seven. I had found a little bird injured on the porch and I’d been nursing it back to health. I was talking to it and telling it all about the history of the Fire Nation when my mom came in. I thought she was going to make me get rid of it,” she began, “Instead, she sat down and told me she was proud of me for taking care of it. She brought it to the palace aviary, so I wouldn’t have to hide it from my father.” When she finished, she saw tears glistening in Katara’s eyes, and Aang looked a bit misty-eyed. 

“That’s beautiful.” Katara said, wiping away tears. They were interrupted by a shout from outside the cave. Katara went out to check, coming back a few minutes later with the fisherman’s wife from earlier. “It's okay,” Katara told her, “You're safe.” “But my husband isn’t!” the woman replied worriedly. Katara’s face fell. “What do you mean?” she asked, “Where's Sokka?” 

“They haven't returned!” the woman explained, “They should have been back by now! And this storm is becoming a typhoon! They're caught out at sea!” Aang got up. “I'm going to find him!” he declared. “I'm going with you!” Katara added. “I’m staying here.” the fisherman’s wife added. “I’ll stay and get her warmed up,” Azula offered, “She looks like she might wind up with exposure.” As Aang and Katara flew off on Appa, Azula turned to the older woman. “So how was your day?” she asked awkwardly.

* * *

About an hour and a half later, Aang and Katara returned, Sokka and the fisherman in tow. The fisherman, grateful for the rescue, offered to give them free fish, which wasn’t as good as actual money, but Azula was going to take the win. As they settled in for the night, Katara came over. “I have a question about the bird,” she said, “Why was that your happiest memory?” Azula smiled sadly.

“It’s because my mother told me she was proud of me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I gaurantee Azula has some burn scars from when she couldn’t live up to Ozai’s expectations. I think it’s telling that we almost never see her in anything that doesn’t cover almost her whole body. My personal headcanon is that she developed a waterproof concealer that she used in “The Beach” to hide her scars, partly because she’s vain, and because deep down, she’s afraid people won’t love her if they see them, because they’d think she was ‘damaged’. 
> 
> That scene was supposed to show that Azula is still making excuses for Ozai, even though she knows, intellectually, that what he did was wrong. She still wants his approval, and is willing to downplay what it says about him. At this point, she’s still clinging to the hope that he might still love her, which, as we know, was never true to begin with. Plus I wanted to show Aang being more mature, actually being about to express how angry he is that Azula had to experience that, before he got spooked by lightning. 
> 
> Since Aang didn’t run away from the temple, he doesn’t have the nightmares and isn’t dealing with that guilt, since he was doing what the Avatar was supposed to do, go master the other elements so he could bring balance. He knows the Air Nomads being attacked wasn’t something he could have predicted, and that the storm was just a freak accident. At worst, he thinks it might have been a warning for him to turn back, but doesn’t blame himself for not getting it. Thus, I wanted to focus on Katara and Azula’s trauma and their issues, as Aang is the more developed character here, while they still have to work through some stuff.


End file.
